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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854369">Heart Out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedalalisa/pseuds/hedalalisa'>hedalalisa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BLACKPINK (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff, Performing Arts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:07:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedalalisa/pseuds/hedalalisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A chaelisa / dance mentor Lisa AU.</p><p>Park Chaeyoung is on her way to conquer the last semester of college. Everything seems to be going well, until she enrolls for an elective under a newly-hired instructor, Lisa Manoban. </p><p>Little did she know that their first encounter is actually an opening act to a semester of hell. </p><p> </p><p>*** story title inspired by: Heart Out - The 1975</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Foreword</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“I told you to smile, why didn’t you smile?”</p><p>“I didn’t hear—"</p><p>“I told you to smile but you just ignored my word, and you just—”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs as she sways her hand in disappointment at the dumbfounded face of the blonde student in front of her. In Chaeyoung’s defense, she just had the worst start to her day. She locked herself out of her dorm room, her pet fish died, and just fifteen minutes ago, she spilled coffee on her dance professor’s shirt. She scrambles through her thoughts as she tries to find the right words to respond to Lisa, who’s so clearly done with her shit.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry—”</p><p>“You don’t have to be sorry to me, you have to be sorry to your friends. Keep messing up and I won’t let you pass this class, Miss Park. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”</p><p> </p><p>Oh Lord, can her last semester get any worse.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. guess who's fucked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! This is the official first chapter of Heart Out. I'm still unsure if this is going to be a long story, but I would prefer to not have more than 20 chapters for this. </p>
<p>Anyway, as you may notice, this is inspired by the fierce and fiery mentor Lisa in Youth With You. I will try to update weekly or as often as I can. I work as a field researcher so some chapters may take some time to finish. </p>
<p>That's all! Your comments and kudos are highly appreciated. Hope you'll enjoy this one. ;))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“Yah, Park Chaeyoung! Stop stealing my beef cuts, what the hell?!”</p>
<p>“I’m hnnngnghhg”</p>
<p>“What do beef cuts have to do with being <em>horny</em>, what the fuck?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisoo instantly regrets saying those as she dodged a rolled up tissue coming her way. Chaeyoung takes a large gulp of soju before speaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dumbass, I said I was hungry. But yeah, I haven’t had sex in six months so what the hell, who knows.”</p>
<p>“Well, not to break your vibe, but the last time you had a chance at getting laid, you ate your food like the last supper in front of Jungkook.”, Seulgi inserts, shrugging in the process.</p>
<p>“What a way to kill the mood, Chaeyoung-ah.”, Jisoo adds.</p>
<p>“Meh, heard a couple of rumors that he was like a rabbit anyway. I don’t really care if I get to fuck him or not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung pours another shot of soju into her glass and dunks it right away. She looks out the window of the small restaurant where she and her friends, Jisoo and Seulgi, are currently at. <em>It’s raining again</em>, she thought. She always hated the rain, makes her feel sad for no reason. Actually, there’s a reason, but it’s not something she wants to entertain one hour before going to a party.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t wanna try girls for a change?”, Seulgi suggests out of nowhere.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you only <em>look</em> straight anyway. I know a lot of people who’d be interested to get into your pants, Miss.”</p>
<p>“Ha ha, funny. I don’t know, I’ve never tried so I can’t say for sure if I’d enjoy it.”, Chaeyoung answers, dunking another shot thereafter.</p>
<p>“Jisoos Christ, Park Chaeyoung, take it easy! You’re fucking bloated now and you’re gonna party later!”, Seulgi rolls her eyes as she snatches the soju bottle from Chaeyoung’s hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung just groans in return. All she cares about is that the party later is probably, and <em>hopefully</em>, her last sem-starter party. She’s on her last semester in college, and damn does she wanna leave South Korea already. For starters, she’s been there for four years, and just when she finally got the hang of the language, she’s sick of everything there. She misses the Australian sun, though bad for her skin, she misses her pet fish Joohwangie, she misses her sister, she misses her mom. She misses everything about home.</p>
<p>The only thing holding her back is possibly her two crackhead friends: Jisoo (the mom-like friend who’s smart as fuck but is never absent in any party, just cause she wants and <em>needs </em>to look after Chaeyoung’s drunk ass) and Seulgi (the cold-looking, part-time model friend who’s been setting her up with guys for the past three years). Another thing could be, well, her <em>dream</em>, of course. She wants to get to the prestigious Tokyo School of Performing Arts. That was always the <em>dream</em>, and Seoul National University’s performing arts program is her best ticket for that.</p>
<p>This is her last semester in college, and no one and nothing could get in her way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Well, that’s what she thought</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m filling up my stomach so I don’t get drunk later.”, she responds.</p>
<p>“Has that ever worked? You’ve been doing that for three years and it always ends up the same.”, Jisoo says, snorting.</p>
<p>“Ends up the same, with Jisoo having to carry your poor ass home just so you won’t end up lying in a ditch somewhere, swimming in your puke.”, Seulgi rebuts.</p>
<p>“Or! The oh-so-famous Chaeyoung walk of shame in our dorm. Hah! We been knew.”, Jisoo adds, laughing in her seat.</p>
<p>“Yah! I swear I won’t get drunk later. It’s my last pre-sem party I gotta make it right.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, right, good luck with that.”</p>
<p>“I promise, I won’t get drunk. I’ll be drinking a little and that’s it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Three hours later</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well that promise didn’t age well, did it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seulgi snorts in the barstool she’s sitting at as she glances at Jisoo who’s drinking beside her. The two of them have been laughing their asses off for the last fifteen minutes as they watched their poor, drunk friend, Park Chaeyoung, dancing like a stoned worm in the middle of the bar. The blonde girl is having a dance-off, well, if you could call it that way, with another blonde girl who’s definitely as drunk as Chaeyoung.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Should we intervene?”, Jisoo asks as she takes a sip from her cup.</p>
<p>“Nah, let her have her fun. It’s her last, anyway. We can like, leave her there for fifteen minutes and she’d still be doing that…. <em>Whatever</em> the hell that is.”</p>
<p>“It’s our last, too. Don’t you think it’s unfair we’re right here watching her?”</p>
<p>“What, you wanna dance like a coked worm, too? We’ll have our fun right there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seulgi points at the dartboard just a few meters away from them. Jisoo shrugs and takes a final look at Chaeyoung before getting up and spending the next thirty minutes playing darts with her dark-haired friend.</p>
<p>Without them knowing, Jungkook slips up behind Chaeyoung in the dancefloor with his hands on her waist. He whispers something to her, and Chaeyoung just nods before following after him to the backdoor.</p>
<p>With her two friends still immersed in the darts game or whatever the hell they’re doing back inside, Chaeyoung starts making out with Jungkook in the back alleyway of the bar. Jungkook has her body pressed against the brick wall, his hands slowly making their way up from her waist to just below her boob. Chaeyoung, heavily intoxicated, didn’t mind that at all, but her 1% sober self started to feel off when he started kissing her neck. His wet mouth focusing on one spot that she knows would be marked by tomorrow.</p>
<p>It’s not her first time to get this heated with a man before, hell, she’s had her fair share of <em>sexcapades</em> in her almost four year stay in South Korea. But something felt off with this one, something felt <em>forced</em>. Her thoughts were confirmed when Jungkook let his hand travel to Chaeyoung’s pants, with a sloppy attempt to unbutton it.</p>
<p>That’s when Chaeyoung started to get back to her senses. She pushes Jungkook away from her, only to be met with a smirk (he’s probably thinking she’s playing hard to get).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“C’mon, baby, this is our chance. You blew it up the last time.”, he says with a playful tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He then kisses her again, sloppily to say the least, as his lips traveled down again to her neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jungkook—, fuck, stop it.”, she tries to push him away but her inebriated state made her feel powerless. Her eyes were drooping, her vision was hazy. It was like, she wanted it but it didn’t feel right. It felt forced. It was too aggressive for her liking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jungkook, I said stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her voice was begging already. A little consent would’ve made a difference, to be honest. But he didn’t seem to hear it. More like, he didn’t seem to pay attention to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I said stop it! What the fuc—”</p>
<p>“The lady told you to stop, didn’t she?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung’s eyes hazily turns to the source of the toneless voice. Her eyes weren’t seeing clearly, but she could tell that the lady in a leather jacket has a long, tied hair tucked in a black cap. She couldn’t really see the face with only one lamppost functioning in the alleyway, but there was no way she would forget the round, brown eyes (funny how she sees details when intoxicated and it’s quite dark) of the woman who just spoke. the woman gazed at her, coldly to be exact, before turning her attention to Jungkook who was just smiling sheepishly at the woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s the deal with you, woman? Care to join—”</p>
<p>“This lady right here was telling you to stop. You didn’t seem to listen. That’s already sexual harassment, do you know that?”</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck off—”</p>
<p>“I’m gonna call the police if you don’t leave.”, she threatens, taking out her phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung couldn’t really comprehend what was happening, or why the woman seemed so intimidating. She appears to be just as tall as Chaeyoung, she doesn’t look old at all but the aura she gives out makes Chaeyoung gulp for no reason. She wasn’t able to form any words, just staring there at the woman who may as well just saved her life.</p>
<p>Jungkook clears his throat which made Chaeyoung snap back to the situation. He grits his teeth at the woman, before staring at Chaeyoung and leaving the alleyway, still with his pants on, without unconsented sex, and with a bruised ego.</p>
<p>Chaeyoung stares back at the dark-haired woman who just put her phone back to her pocket. This makes Chaeyoung thirsty for some reason, must be the alcohol, or the fact that she’s staring at the thighs of the woman with her pants hugging her skin tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank yo—”</p>
<p>“Chaeyoung-ah!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seulgi’s voice echoes throughout the alleyway as the backdoor of the bar swung open. Jisoo looks at Chaeyoung with questioning eyes, before turning her attention to the woman standing just a few feet away from their friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ve been looking for you for ten minutes now, you just disappeared from the dancefloor—”</p>
<p>“Next time, don’t leave your intoxicated friend on her own. It’s not every day that someone makes it in time to rescue people from danger.”, the woman in a leatherjacket says before turning her back to walk out of the alleyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Seulgi could ask for the woman’s name, or any relevant information for that matter, Chaeyoung takes quick strides towards the woman, grabbing her wrist. The woman turns around, a little startled from the contact.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung scans her thoughts, looking for the appropriate words to say to thank the woman. She might forget what happened, or maybe not, the next morning. For some reason, she feels her stomach turn at the sight of the brown eyes looking back at her. The woman’s eyes were warm, but her stare was ice-cold. Does that explanation even make sense? Chaeyoung doesn’t know. It’s like her gaze was darting her frozen in her position.</p>
<p>Shaken up and still intoxicated, she just says the first thing that comes into her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank yo—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To the woman’s surprise—hell, even to Chaeyoung’s, Seulgi’s, and Jisoo’s surprise—, a mixture of brown and red liquid, with half-digested bits of hot pot meat, came showering out of Chaeyoung’s mouth and into the leather jacket of the woman in front of her. The woman’s eyes widen in shock, as she steps back a little to somehow dodge the nasty liquid shot her way, but it was of no help. The damage has been done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”, the woman hisses.</p>
<p>“Oh my god, Chaeyoung!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisoo and Seulgi came rushing to their friend as they looked at the horrifying sight in front of them. They hear the woman grunt and curse a little, and just right there and then, Chaeyoung passes out. Probably because of: one, she’s so fucking drunk, and two, she just threw up on the expensive-looking jacket of the woman who saved her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, my god. Shit, I’m so sorry. I’m sure she didn’t mean to—“, Jisoo blurts out, only to be cut off coldly.</p>
<p>“Just—just take her home. What the hell.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman takes off the jacket she was wearing and holds it at a safe distance from the rest of her body before walking away. Jisoo didn’t have time to process what to do first, as Seulgi was nudging her, asking for help to carry Chaeyoung who’s…. well, so done for tonight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh, does Chaeyoung have a lot to explain the moment she wakes up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What took you so long? I’ve been looking after your cats for like an hour now— what the fuck, Lisa?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie steps back from the door as soon as she opened it, her lips curling with disgust at the horrible jacket pushed her way by Lisa, her best friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Does this explain everything?”, Lisa asks, as she goes straight to the bathroom to place the jacket in her sink.</p>
<p>“No, it certainly doesn’t. What the hell happened?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie closes the front door, waiting for Lisa to explain why: A, is she gone for an hour instead of just fifteen minutes, and B, why she went home with a leather jacket glazed with pungent digestibles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was walking back to my car when I heard someone yelling from that alleyway behind Bobby’s bar.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t really explain anything so I’m gonna ask you again to continue?”</p>
<p>“A woman was being, well, harassed. She was drunk and it seemed forced so I stepped in and made him go away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie laughs loudly, her eyes nowhere to be seen as her eye-smile grows with every snort she’s making.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I know where this is going.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa rolls her eyes at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me guess, she thanked you with a…. pint of alcoholic drink…. Straight outta stomach?”, Jennie says, smirking at Lisa through the mirror.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess you could call it that way.”</p>
<p>“Well, I guess that’s your welcome back gift from Seoul.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa lets out a small smile while shaking her head as she walks out of the bathroom. She opens the front door of her apartment, and makes a gesture telling Jennie to get out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really, you made me watch your cats for an hour then you come home with no food compensation and only with a drenched jacket? And now you’re telling your best friend to fuck off?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s basically what I’m doing now.”</p>
<p>“Nah, fuck you, Lisa.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa only snorts in amusement at the eye-rolling woman in front of her. Jennie takes her own coat and shoots Lisa with one final death glare before stepping out of her apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Jen.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She couldn’t stop a short laugh from coming out of her lips when Jennie replied with a middle finger raised in the air. She waits for her best friend to disappear from sight before closing her apartment door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, welcome back to Seoul, Lisa.”, she tells herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know you have no face to show the world but that’s no excuse to slack off and skip class, Park Chaeyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seulgi lightly taps Chaeyoung’s shoulders as they enter the training room. Jisoo was already sitting down on one vacant stool inside, smirking at Chaeyoung. They spent the whole morning videochatting about the embarrassing night Chaeyoung had. In Chaeyoung’s defense, it was one of the worst nights ever. From getting harassed to throwing up on a complete stranger, she’s never heard of anything worse than that. She hates herself even more because she didn’t forget a single thing despite being passed-out drunk.</p>
<p>Her friends were agitated with Jungkook after Chaeyoung revealed what he did. For a little take back, Seulgi and Jisoo made sure to leave a note in Jungkook’s locker before class, saying,</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Get anywhere near our friend and we’ll cut your tiny dick off</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde couldn’t help but thank them apologetically for taking her back to her dorm last night, and of course, for their own version of <em>revenge</em>. But then, a part of her feels the need to look for that woman she threw up on. She did a great deal for her last night. Chaeyoung could only imagine what could’ve gone wrong if it weren’t for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just wish I could thank that woman from last night. She really saved my ass—”</p>
<p>“And you paid her well with something she’d never forget. That’s not so bad, Chae.”, Seulgi stops her, smirking.</p>
<p>“That was really, really embarrassing. Ugh.”</p>
<p>“I agree.”, Jisoo says before laughing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung could only sigh, knowing what happened at Bobby’s bar would be a legendary inside joke between her and her friends. She puts down her stuff on the floor along with the cap she’s wearing and stretches out her limbs. It’s the first day of her last semester in SNU, and she kept her wardrobe for the day simple. She’s just in a white tank top and gray sweatpants, with a dark blue jacket wrapped around her waist.</p>
<p>Her first class of the day is Modern Dance, one of her electives for the rest of the sem. She was supposed to take a different subject but was forced to take up modern dance instead when slots ran out.</p>
<p>Familiar faces surround her, and she hopes that’s a good sign.</p>
<p>The former church girl prays it won’t be too bad as her two best friends are in class with her. She just needs to complete all units left, and she’s done. She can finally go home. Or maybe, <em>hopefully</em>, apply for TSPU.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her hopes, however, were about to take a turn for the worst.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everybody settle down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung shuffles on the floor as she stops stretching upon hearing a voice. She doesn’t look up right away, but her mind was telling her that that voice sounds so familiar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>So fucking familiar</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my Go—”</p>
<p>“Well, fuck me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those reactions from Jisoo and Seulgi were enough to knock Chaeyoung out of trance. She follows the gaze of the two surprised women beside her, and she slightly regrets doing so.</p>
<p>Her jaw falls flat when her misfiring neurons finally connect in her brains.</p>
<p>A pair of eerily familiar brown eyes lock with hers. The stare was again, cold, and piercing. Most especially at this moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was the woman from last night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman who saved her from Jungkook.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman who bravely stepped on her harasser’s fragile masculinity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman she threw up on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m Lisa Manoban, your instructor for PA180: Modern Dance.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The same brown eyes who stared at her and haunted her with embarrassment for hours lingered for a good three seconds before looking away. Chaeyoung was so damn sure she saw a small smirk on Lisa’s lips when she did so, but that’s not the point now, is it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gosh, Chaeyoung???”, Jisoo says as she looks at her friend with concern.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am so fucked.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>To be continued</em>…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. alcoholic aftermaths and whatnot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi! this is the second chapter of the story. the first two chapters of this story involves me setting up the main characters, so if it seems draggy or whatever, kindly bear with me as FLUFF is waiting in the succeeding chapters! HAHAHA. anyway, as mentioned before, I will try to update weekly. i really would like to know how you think of the story so far, so if you'd like to, kindly comment below! your kudos are also highly appreciated.</p>
<p>also, I suggest u listen to 3:00 AM by Finding Hope as you read, just to set your mood. here's the link for it: https://youtu.be/mak0DkRbuCY</p>
<p>hope you'll enjoy this update! ciao~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“So, what are you going to do now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung sighs as she hears Seulgi whispering beside her. She has spent the last hour staring at everything but the person standing in front of her and her classmates. Without any exaggeration intended, Chaeyoung was quite committed to avoiding the freezing gaze of her modern dance professor. She looked at the floor, she looked at her shoes, hell, she even looked at the split ends of the person sitting in front of her. Lisa was standing five feet away, having spent most of the class lecturing about the background of modern dance. It’s the first day of the semester anyway, the actual dance mentorships don’t start in at least two weeks, and that’s probably a relief for Chaeyoung, who’s already planning to skip class in the said timeframe. She is so determined to avoid having to sit down in lectures and stare at the person she threw up on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t fucking know.”</p>
<p>“You know, you can still change classes right?”, Jisoo suggests quietly, keeping her eyes in front.</p>
<p>“Changing classes is a fucking inconvenience, Jisoo-ah.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but this???”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisoo gestures her forefinger discreetly between Chaeyoung and the figure in front she’s referring to. Chaeyoung just groans silently, shutting her eyes with a little more force than she intended. She doesn’t know if things would’ve been much better had she forgot about what happened last night. <em>Why didn’t I think of that?</em> Too late anyway. Chaeyoung is sure as hell that Lisa recognizes her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa remembers her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung heard Lisa’s voice and felt some shuffling beside her and she didn’t know why. She just kept her eyes closed; her head tipped down slightly facing the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The woman in white tank top.”</p>
<p>“Hey, Chaeyoung—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung grits her teeth as she opens her eyes and finally looks up at the source of the voice. Lisa, with her black hair tied up, was looking at her with blank eyes and slightly pursed lips. She doesn’t look pleased at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you okay? Are you even listening?”</p>
<p>“I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung stops not even halfway her sentence when she notices that everyone’s staring at her. Her heartbeat then started to elevate, and it almost felt like she was about to have a panic attack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was that?”, Lisa asks again, with a hint of mixed annoyance and the slightest tinge of concern in her voice. She raises an eyebrow at Chaeyoung, who was obviously bothered by everything around her.</p>
<p>“I— I’m sorry. I’m not really feeling well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Not really feeling well. Huh. Well that’s funny, </em>Lisa thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah? Hmm.”, Lisa responds, finally taking her eyes off the stunted student.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung was finally able to let go of the breath she was holding when Lisa looked away. She doesn’t know if it’s for the fact that she’s too embarrassed right now, or that Lisa just has this effect on people. Those two brown orbs felt like a fucking binocular looking through her sockets. It was haunting. And the embarrassment definitely didn’t help.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay, Chae?”, Seulgi asks, touching her elbow with much concern.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. I just need to get more sleep after this class.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that was genuinely what was on Chaeyoung’s mind for the next 30 minutes, up until the university bell rang. She massaged her temples as she took in the sight around her. Is this going to be her situation for the next five months? She doesn’t know for sure. One thing she knows is that she hates herself for starting off on the wrong foot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s all for today. Just one more lecture on Thursday and we’ll proceed with the actual dance classes. You’re dismissed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung collects her things and stands up, following just behind Jisoo and Seulgi. She didn’t bother giving another look at Lisa, she’s too scared to even entertain the possibility that their eyes could meet once more, and she’d feel awfully caged in those eyes again. That’s the last thing she needs right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Miss Park Chaeyoung, can I talk to you for a second?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The mention of her name and the fact that it came from Lisa’s lips made her lungs shrink back. Oxygen felt like a fucking luxury all of a sudden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisoo and Seulgi looked back at her concernedly. She gives them a tight-lipped smile and quietly tells them to go ahead. She takes two quick breaths before facing Lisa, who has her hands resting on the desk behind her and looking at her expectantly. Chaeyoung grips her backpack’s strap with one hand and walks towards her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She already knows what this is about, and she’s definitely preparing for the worst. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have this settled now as she was planning to do so a few hours ago. It’s now or never.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If this is about last night, I—”</p>
<p>“It’s not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa lets her stare linger for a good three seconds, and Chaeyoung fucking hates her for that. Not exactly <em>her</em>, but <em>that</em>. Lisa reaches for the envelope on the desk she’s leaning against and hands it over to Chaeyoung. The younger girl takes it and opens without further question. Her eyes widen in surprise as she stares back at Lisa, who’s just watching her silently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is—”</p>
<p>“Your submitted request for endorsement, yes. You want to go to TSPA?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>More questions run through Chaeyoung’s mind. Chaeyoung recalls submitting her request for endorsement to the director of the Performing Arts Department three months ago. It was to formally ask for their assistance in helping her qualify to the prestigious performing arts program of her dream school in Tokyo after graduation. She thought the director didn’t even bother opening it, as she had not received any response from Director Yang at all.</p>
<p>And now, the fact that her request is being handed back to her by Lisa raises more questions than answers. This probably explains why Lisa knows her name, but why did the older girl have her letter anyway?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How— Why do you have this? I mean, yeah, I’m interested to enter TSPA. But why do you have this?”, Chaeyoung starts rambling.</p>
<p>“Director Yang gave it to me this morning, said that out of all students who asked for endorsement, you’re the one he’s most interested in.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That doesn’t really answer Chaeyoung’s question, but she felt a spark of joy tingle her insides upon hearing that news. Director Yang has always been so choosy with whom to endorse, that’s why she had little hope to begin with. Hearing this now was definitely music to her ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dir. Yang asked me to watch your progress closely. He wants me to see if endorsing you would be worth a try. Or maybe help you out a little.”, Lisa responds in a flat, disinterested voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Little did Chaeyoung know, Lisa was masking the curiosity in her tone. It’s not everyday that she encounters personal referrals for potential candidates to TSPA’s program. She wonders what the woman who threw up on her possesses, talent-wise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>What do you have, huh</em>?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But why you—”</p>
<p>“I’m a product of TSPA myself.”, she butts in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Oh, wow</em>, Chaeyoung thought. As much as she hates being cut off mid-sentence, she didn’t really mind at that moment. It’s not too often that you get to be monitored and <em>possibly</em>, guided, by a TSPA alumna. She’s always looked up to those people, as the two-year program is known to exhaust and filter only the best of the best.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she’s looking at one right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s quite convenient that you took up this class. Nevertheless, I’m gonna need you to send me some videos within the week.”</p>
<p>“Videos?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, you’re so fucking dumb, Roseanne.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung hates the fact that she’s too accustomed to having friends who are so fond of dirty jokes and innuendos. She hates the fact that wrong images are flashing in her mind right now upon hearing Lisa’s request.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she hates it even more because Lisa’s shooting her a knowing look. It’s the look from a person who knows what she meant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dance videos? Rehearsals, anything you think might convince me that you’re worth a shot. I need to see them first.”</p>
<p>“Oh, uh, yeah, yeah sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Get your shit together</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll have a colleague of mine look at your singing videos if you don’t mind. Just for assessment.”, Lisa says, finally going behind her desk to pack her things.</p>
<p>“Sure, Ma’am—”</p>
<p>“Lisa. Just Lisa outside class. I’m just a year ahead of you anyway.”, Lisa shrugs, still speaking in a monotonous voice that Chaeyoung couldn’t quite dissect.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The younger girl just nods in response and turns around to walk away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But then again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Miss Park?”, Lisa calls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung turns around again, holding her breath once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Drink responsibly next time.”, her instructor continues.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Oh, fuck</em>. Chaeyoung just remembered she had to apologize for that. She shuffles on her feet and tries to scour through the thinning air around her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, I’m really, <em>really</em> sorry for what happened last night. That was so stupid of me and I should’ve known better than that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung just lets those words slip out of her mouth, feeling too desperate to just settle this once and for all. Lisa just stares at her with those piercing eyes again, and God, does she hate how it made her feel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And thank you. Thank you for saving my intoxicated self from trouble. I— I could only imagine what could’ve gone down if it weren’t for what you did. If there’s any way to make up for it, just tell me. I don’t know if I can replace that jacket or whatev—”</p>
<p>“Apology accepted, Miss Park.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa picks up her bag and walks past her. It’s funny because despite what Lisa said, Chaeyoung still feels awful and equally embarrassed. Things just felt…. Awkward, maybe? No, not even the word <em>awkward</em> could sum up what she felt at that moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck my life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chae, oh my God, have you seen this?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seulgi scoots over and sits beside Chaeyoung as she shows her phone to her. They’re inside a café just across SNU as they decided to kill time before going home to their dorms. The first day of their last semester wasn’t too bad, if Chaeyoung’s going to be honest. Aside from her tense encounter with Lisa this morning, the rest of her day went decent. And she’s still elated by the fact that she’s one step closer to her dream. Adding more to it are her ever supportive friends who look forward to seeing her get accepted. Even if it means having to be watched closely by Lisa Manoban.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now that she mentioned the woman’s name in her mind, it does ring a bell. And that was exactly what Seulgi was about to share to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Playing on Seulgi’s phone is a dance cover of Taki-Taki by Kiel Tutin, a famous choreographer, and….. no other than Lisa Manoban, her modern dance instructor….</p>
<p> </p>
<p>….and her soon-to-be personal mentor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So that’s why she’s familiar!”, Jisoo exclaims a little too loudly, earning them a few glances around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung bites her lips as she looked at the one-minute dance cover. Damn was Lisa so good at what she’s doing. The movement of her body perfectly matching every beat of the upbeat song. But what caught her attention, well, aside from Lisa’s obvious good looks, was how she executed it. Often does she see dancers who are too immersed in what they’re dancing that they end up overdoing the choreography. But with Lisa, specifically in this video, it was different. She didn’t overdo or underdo the routine. It was just perfect. Just the perfect blend of saint and sexy in that one <em>fucking</em> dance cover.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck, she’s hot, isn’t she?”, Seulgi points out the obvious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung sees more videos online featuring Lisa, but the thoughts running inside her brain and the fact that she just saw that dance cover of her scorching hot instructor didn’t let her freely jump into watching more. She just leaned back onto her seat and thought of the possible outcome of her mentorship under Lisa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would she be giving Chaeyoung a hard time as a payback for what she did? <em>Nah, she didn’t seem to be that type</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would she be <em>that</em> attractive every freaking time? <em>Hell to the yes, I guess</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oi, Chaeyoung-ah, you’re literally drooling.”</p>
<p>“What?”, Chaeyoung asks with wide eyes, as she runs her fingers over the corner of her lips, earning laughter from the two women with her.</p>
<p>“Good lord is she whipped.”, Seulgi says, smirking.</p>
<p>“No, I’m not. I’m— bothered because Lisa’s about to monitor my progress for the assessment and she’s the exact same person I threw up on last night.”</p>
<p>“You said earlier that it seemed fine with her, right?”, Jisoo asks.</p>
<p>“And oh, about that, you’re fucking lucky, Park Chaeyoung. Let me sit in for some <em>personal</em> classes, please, please, please??”, Seulgi adds, clasping her hands together as if begging Chaeyoung to say yes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung just rolls her eyes at her. But she has to admit though, the thought of spending time with Lisa outside their modern dance class is giving her some chills. Not the kind of chills that are awful, but the kind that’s unsettling in a weird and exciting way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have watched that dance cover. Now I’m even more embarrassed to send my rehearsal clips because I don’t even think they’ll be good enough.”</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t be like that. Where’s the confidence of that Park Chaeyoung who casually throws up on their instructor go? You’ll definitely need that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She rolls her eyes once more, cursing her two friends inside her mind. She doesn’t even know if this inside joke will ever die down now that she’s about to spend more hours with the receiver of her alcoholic digestibles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Suck it up and do well, Chae. You know you got this.”, Jisoo says after the laughter died down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisoo was right, Chaeyoung’s got this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn’t have a choice anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Flash forward and it’s a chilly Friday night at Lisa’s apartment. She’s sitting comfortable on her couch with her legs sprawled on top of the coffee table in front of her. Jennie, her best friend, just purses her lips in annoyance at Lisa’s habit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Get your feet off the table, Manoban.”</p>
<p>“It’s my coffee table.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, and that’s disgusting.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie grunts as she reaches out for the remote control on the table. She scans her best friend’s Netflix profile, looking for a decent show to watch. She snorts a little at Lisa’s choice of movies and series so far.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey? What are you, 12?”</p>
<p>“It fattens my brain, Jen, you should try it from time to time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Jennie could form a comeback, Lisa’s phone beeps and lights up on the space beside her. She took a second to glance at the name flashing on her screen, and the grueling silence from her in the next few seconds was cue for Jennie to snatch away her phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jennie, what the hell?”</p>
<p>“Nope, don’t do you dare think about replying to her.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to—”</p>
<p>“Lisa.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa lets out an annoyed huff as she takes a sip from the bottle of beer she’s holding. Jennie, on the other hand, swipes open Lisa’s phone and reads the message out loud to her best friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“From Joohyun. <em>What are you up to? I’ve missed you</em>. Really, Lisa? I thought you blocked her number already?”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The two-sentence message lingered in her head longer than she wanted. In Lisa’s defense, it’s not everyday that you get to receive a sober <em>I miss you</em> message from your ex-girlfriend. And that’s what she just received from Joohyun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re a fucking dumbass, Lalisa. Don’t you dare reply.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, delete it or whatever. I don’t care.”</p>
<p>“You know you do. And if I weren’t here, you’d be bawling your eyes out by now.”</p>
<p>“Just— can we not do it this time, Jen?”, Lisa says, exasperated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie didn’t push the topic anymore. It wasn’t like Lisa was annoyed with her or what. She just knows from her best friend’s tone that she’s truly fighting the struggle and urge to snatch her phone back and send a goddamn reply to her ex.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it’s been that way for six months now. Lisa would fight the urge to text back every time. And there were days when she won. On most days, she’d fucking give in. But not today, not on Jennie’s watch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just when Jennie was about to block Joohyun’s number, Lisa’s phone beeped again. But this time, it was an email notification. She read the sender’s name out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You got an email from…. Park Chaeyoung?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jennie wasn’t looking at Lisa when the younger girl’s eyes blinked twice and changed emotions. She reaches over Jennie and successfully snatches back her phone, pressing on the email notification she got from Chaeyoung. It wasn’t out of eagerness; she doesn’t want it to look that way. It just so happened that she, or rather Jennie, was on her phone when it arrived.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who is she?”</p>
<p>“A student of mine.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you got a younger pen pal now? Holy shit, Manoban, teach me your ways.”</p>
<p>“No, dumbass. She’s a personal referral by the director of the department for the TSPA program.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa wastes no more time and reads the email sent to her, her mind jumping into the fact that Chaeyoung didn’t show up on their second lecture on Thursday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>To: lisamanoban@snu.edu.kr</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>From: park_chaeyoung@gmail.com</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lisa seonsaengnim,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hello. I attached here some rehearsal videos I’ve recorded since last year until recently. I organized them into dance and vocal rehearsals for your convenience.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I don’t know if any of them are good enough, so I’d understand if you decide not to push through with Director Yang’s request. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Thank you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sincerely,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Park Chaeyoung</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa couldn’t stop a small smile from escaping her lips. How could she not? From Chaeyoung’s persistent way of addressing her as seonsaengnim outside of class, to the message that reeks of discouragement and embarrassment, how could she not. <em>Hmm, Park Chaeyoung, </em>she thought.</p>
<p>She quickly presses on the attached video on the email, the most recent one dated just yesterday. Jennie moves closer to her so she could have a sneak peek of it as well. The video shows Chaeyoung dancing to Cravin by DaniLeigh and G-Eazy. Each beat flows through Chaeyoung’s skin like a plucked string resonating along a guitar’s body. It was raw and sensual and swag at the same time. And then, a sudden realization hit them both.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Isn’t that—”</p>
<p>“— the routine Cheshir choreographed for me.”, she says, finishing Jennie’s sentence herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa couldn’t help it. The second smile to form on her lips came out with a satisfied sound. Jennie glanced at her and smiled, too, realizing that it truly impressed her best friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn, she’s good. She’s the one referred to you, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Did you accept the mentorship then? Please tell me you did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lisa pauses for a little while before responding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m about to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. everyone needs a best friend like *** ******, part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey guys, here's the 3rd chapter of Heart Out. If you're wondering why I put "part 1", well, you're gonna have to read until the end to understand why hahahaha. also, I recommend that you watch Lisa's "I Like It" dance cover because you might need it to refresh your minds for the early parts of this chapter. please excuse any typos and errors as i haven't had time to edit this one (i'm a field researcher by day [hi, UP!] and a fangirl by night, so... pft).</p><p>anyway, I hope you like this one. your kudos and comments are highly appreciated! let me know what you think! things will start to get more excited so strap in and have fun. </p><p>ciao~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Yah, Park Chaeyoung!!!”</p><p>“Wait a minute I’m almost done!”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung runs back and forth inside her apartment as she fumbles through her things, trying to look for her stupid phone. It’s already 10:10 in the morning, and at this rate, she and her two friends are going to run late by at least 20 mins late for their 10:00 AM class.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s their modern dance class, by the way.</p><p> </p><p>Rushing to pick up her keys, she takes a final look around her apartment before dashing outside. Jisoo already has a worried look on her face. Seulgi, on the other hand, was just laughing as the disheveled state of Park Chaeyoung.</p><p>Chaeyoung curses herself internally for waking up late. Does it even count as an excuse if you’re a bit hungover because it was Seulgi’s birthday bash party last night? It’s definitely a no, especially for the fact that the class she’d be running late to is the one Lisa’s teaching.</p><p>What’s worse, however, is that she, Jisoo, and Seulgi are about to deliver a trio dance performance. It’s Thursday, and four days before that, Lisa sent an email to the whole class informing them that she won’t be around for their first non-lecture meeting on Monday. Instead, their instructor left them with a dance video and assigned them to form groups of three. Groups are supposed to learn the choreography within those four days before today, and now that Thursday has come, Chaeyoung and her pals are running late.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, they’ll be in deep trouble because of it.</p><p> </p><p>Their dorms are a good ten-minute walk from the performing arts building, but with no time to waste, the three hop onto Chaeyoung’s car and drifted off. Chaeyoung was worriedly tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, as Jisoo’s sighs definitely didn’t help the anxiety they’re fighting. Seulgi seems chill about it, but she’s the <em>goddamn</em> Kang Seulgi for a reason.</p><p>A couple of minutes later and they’re literally running out of Chaeyoung’s car and sprinting into the dance studio of the building. Jisoo carefully opens the door as they can already hear Lisa’s voice from inside, quite louder than the last time they saw her.</p><p>Lisa stops speaking as soon as the three walk inside the room. They had their heads hung a little low, and Chaeyoung isn’t kidding when she tells herself that she’s shitting in her pants because of anxiety. Lisa has her left hand on her waist, the other holding a notebook which she thinks has the whole class’ names on it. They all sat on the floor on the back, as they look up at the three guys standing nervously in front of Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do they look like they just saw a fucking ghost?”, Seulgi asks.</p><p>“God, she’s probably mad at them.”</p><p> </p><p>And Jisoo was right. Unbeknownst to them, the past fifteen minutes have been spent by Lisa telling the first two groups to repeat the routine again and again. <em>One more time,</em> these words echoed inside the dance studio many, many times until Lisa had enough and stood up to stop them from performing.</p><p> </p><p>“Back to what I was saying, you, Kim Yugyeom, are definitely off-beat.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa puts down the notebook she was holding and stands beside Yugyeom. She makes three consecutive steps, which Chaeyoung figures is from the chorus of the song.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t do <em>this</em> before the first beat. It’s supposed to be after. Understand?”</p><p> </p><p>Yugyeom nods his head as a noticeable blush on his cheeks appeared.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, the three of you, do the chorus again.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa steps back and crouches down to the floor as she stares at the three guys through the wide practice mirror in front of them. She still has this discontented look on her face, her left eyebrow raising with her lips pursed. She shakes her head a little when Yugyeom goes off-beat again. She presses the cassette button and gestures for them to sit down, clearly done with their mistakes.</p><p>Lisa stands up, still carrying the notebook with her. She turns around to face Jisoo, Seulgi, and Chaeyoung. The three girls gulp in response as they know they were about to be sentenced for being late.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not interested to know why you’re late, but you three are next.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa gestures her forefinger while she gave the instruction. Chaeyoung started to sweat a little out of anxiety. She has this familiar tingle in her stomach, but the last thing she needs now is to throw up once again in front of Lisa. That’s not even a <em>fucking </em>option. She takes three deep breaths before stepping in front with Jisoo and Seulgi. Lisa asks one of their classmates to press play, and the song “I like it” starts.</p><p>It’s quite a simple routine that lasts for less than a minute, Chaeyoung knows that. But the hungover she’s feeling didn’t help. Halfway the dance, when Lisa wasn’t saying anything still, Chaeyoung accidentally steps on Jisoo’s left foot and they stumble a little. Chaeyoung was sure as hell she heard a disappointed grunt from Lisa, who made an X mark with her arms. The music stops and Chaeyoung’s never hated herself more before that.</p><p> </p><p>“From the start, okay? One more time.”</p><p> </p><p><em>One more time</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t see the emotions.”</p><p> </p><p><em>One more time</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“The more you compress in the middle, the more confused I get. Again.”</p><p> </p><p><em>One more time</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“You look too sleepy for this routine, Miss Park. Again.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One more time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Those words resonated inside the room for a couple more times, and every time the routine restarts, it’s because Chaeyoung kept stepping on Jisoo’s poor left foot or Lisa’s commenting on how lifeless she’s being. By the nth time Chaeyoung does it, Lisa’s voice stops everyone from moving.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs with a loud sound that the three figured was meant to be intentional.</p><p> </p><p>“Miss Kang missed some moves; Miss Kim looks equally confused, and you seem too lazy this morning, aren’t you, Miss Park.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, they’re fucked.</p><p> </p><p>“I gave all of you four days to practice a forty-second routine. The first two groups didn’t seem to be themselves either. Are all of you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung looks around and sees the mum faces of her classmates. She’s more than certain that half of the faces she’s seeing were there in Seulgi’s party. Either way, the time Lisa gave to them was enough and attending someone’s party is no excuse to come unprepared.</p><p>Lisa pulls up her sleeves and positions herself so everyone can see her. She hums the tune of one part of the chorus and dances to it, clearly emphasizing how she dips down her hips for the sway. Chaeyoung doesn’t know why but she felt flustered as Lisa did <em>that</em>. Must be the hungover to be honest, but it’s too late. She immediately looks at something else, blinking a little more than intended.</p><p> </p><p>“When you do this, let the sway linger like you’re in slow motion.”</p><p> </p><p>She straightens herself up and continues speaking.</p><p> </p><p>“One thing you have to remember is that if the move requires your body to go slow, then slow down. If it’s supposed to be quick, then pace up. Don’t just count incessantly in your heads. Counting is useless if it doesn’t fit the song at all. Not all routines are consistently slow or fast, keep that in mind.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa has this displeased look on her face still, but Chaeyoung didn’t miss how those brown orbs started to soften up after she spoke. Chaeyoung wonders what’s going on inside Lisa’s mind. Out of intellectual and academic curiosity, not in a suggestive way, of course.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Huh, of course.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She continues to eye Lisa as the older woman continued to speak. At some point, Chaeyoung would catch herself looking down at Lisa’s lips as she talked, and she would mentally scold herself for that. For some reason, she couldn’t help it. She didn’t need to look at her for too long to realize that Lisa has an excellent side profile. Perfectly sculpted nose, sharp jawline, plump lips.</p><p> </p><p><em>What the fuck are you thinking about</em>?, she asks herself as she shakes her head and allows herself to get back to her senses.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t just rely on the counting. Listen to what’s playing and pay attention to it. You’re aspiring performers here, guys. If you can’t even pull-off a simple routine, you’d have a much harder time catching up on the more complicated ones. And that’s what’s waiting for all of you after this.  Okay?”</p><p> </p><p>The students just nod in response. Lisa has always had this authoritative effect on her voice. Chaeyoung doesn’t even know if Lisa realizes this herself, but the older woman just seems to command the space every time. And Chaeyoung first witnessed that in that sad encounter at Bobby’s Bar more than a week ago.</p><p> </p><p>“And don’t just memorize the steps. I’m not interested in teaching students who just memorize the steps. Hammer down every move then piece them together.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa clicks her tongue and finally faces Chaeyoung and her two friends.</p><p> </p><p>“When I asked you to put more emotion to it, I expected things to change by the reset. But the three of you didn’t seem to hear it the first time. So, listen, okay? It’s important that you listen.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung knows Lisa’s addressing the three of them but somehow, it felt like the reminder was only directed to her as their instructor looked at her the whole time she was speaking. This is definitely not how she wishes things to be, especially with the fact that she needs to leave a good impression on Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that didn’t seem possible at all from the moment she threw up on her.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung still hopes that first impressions don’t last, even though she’s more than convinced that they do because Lisa still hasn’t responded to her email from last Friday. The fact that she puked on her, plus this failed first performance in class today, have made her hopes for endorsement go slim. Now all she can think about is that Lisa’s probably not interested in mentoring her.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily, she’s wrong again.</p><p> </p><p>In Lisa’s defense, she didn’t want to look too eager to accept the mentorship request, so she decided not to respond right away. Pft, if Chaeyoung only knew, then she wouldn’t need to balance hungover thoughts inside her brain now.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, go to your groups now, we’ll go through every step one by one. I’m going to assess everything on Monday. For now, let’s perfect it, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung could only puff some oxygen out in response.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I like those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I like going to the jeweler, I put rocks all in my watch</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung stares at herself in the mirror as she practices all over again at 5:00 in the afternoon. It looks gloomy outside, with the season starting to transition from summer to autumn in early September, just more than a week into the second semester. Chaeyoung is pretty exhausted and is barely catching her breath while practicing, but she wastes no time as she plans to redeem herself after being an embarrassment yet again in front of Lisa this morning.</p><p>She goes over the choreography and tries to remember everything Lisa said during their session earlier. Every sway, every slow-mo, every picking up of pace, she notes all of those in her head, hoping not to do the same mistake on Monday.</p><p>Chaeyoung stops halfway to catch her breath. She reaches for her flask on the floor and takes a quick gulp of water before pressing the play button on the cassette again.</p><p> </p><p>Unbeknownst to her, Lisa was pacing along the hallway just outside the dance studio in her black crop top and black sweatpants, covered with a hoodie hung over her shoulders. Her classes for the day are done, and the stress of teaching three dance classes in one day is starting to get into her head. To ease that stress, Lisa always dances on her free time. It helps in her opinion, takes out the tension built up and held down for hours. She was informed by the guard outside that no one uses the dance studio at 5:00 PM, which is why she chose this time to go there and de-stress.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Now I like dollars, I like diamonds</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I like stunting, I like shining</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa stops on her tracks just by the door when she hears those familiar lyrics. <em>I thought there are no classes anymore?</em>, she thought. Carefully, like a cat stalking its prey, she slowly opens the door, not too wide but enough to peek inside. To her surprise, she sees strawberry blonde hair and that sweaty but slim body dancing to <em>I Like It</em>.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Hmm, Park Chaeyoung</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t say anything at all, just stood there and watched the younger girl dance to the song she taught them this morning. She observes every move and couldn’t help but let a small smile run through her lips when she hears Chaeyoung mumble, “<em>slower, Chae, slower</em>”, as she does the sway step. Lisa likes it when mentees listen to her, and the fact that it’s Chaeyoung who’s doing it makes her smile even more.</p><p> </p><p><em>What the hell, Lisa?</em>, she scolds herself.</p><p> </p><p>Just in time, Chaeyoung spots Lisa standing by the door through the reflection on the mirror in front of her. She quickly pauses the cassette and turns around, bowing a little too low in front of Lisa with her right hand on her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa seonsaengnim, I didn’t know you were here.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa curses herself in her head. Good thing she was able to take back the smile on her lips before Chaeyoung caught her staring. She clears her throat and just nods at Chaeyoung, trying to play it cool.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you still here? You have the whole weekend to practice.”, she says as she steps inside and places her backpack on the floor a few feet away from Chaeyoung.</p><p>“Oh, uhm… My classes ended two hours ago so I figured it would be okay to practice. Uhm, are you going to use the studio?”, Chaeyoung asks in return and Lisa just nods again.</p><p>“Oh, uh, I’ll leave then—”</p><p>“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind, it’s a huge studio anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>As much as Chaeyoung wanted to share the room and breathe the same air as her mentor, the embarrassment and intimidation got into her first. She shakes her head and starts to pick up her stuff from the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m actually done, I— uh, I have to go to work in like two hours anyway. So—”</p><p> </p><p>Work, funny. Chaeyoung wasn’t lying to be fair, she does work four nights a week. She figures it’s a good excuse anyway, as Lisa just nods in response once again.</p><p> </p><p><em>She still works at night? Huh, that’s interesting</em>, Lisa thought. She doesn’t stare at Chaeyoung as the younger girl finishes packing. Before leaving, Chaeyoung argued with her mind a little on whether to say goodbye or not to her mentor. Well, there’s no harm if she does so anyway, right?</p><p> </p><p>“Uhm, I’ll go now, seonsaeng—”</p><p>“Lisa. I told you it’s Lisa outside class, right?”</p><p>“Uhm, well, technically we’re inside our ‘classroom’ so…”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa raises a brow at her and Chaeyoung bites back her tongue. What the hell was she talking about? <em>So much for trying to be clever, you dumbass,</em> Chaeyoung mumbles in her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Nevermind, that was uhm— nevermind, I’ll go now. I’ll see you around, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa doesn’t respond at all until Chaeyoung was completely out of the room. <em>Seonsaengnim</em>, huh. She scoffs under her breath at the persistent formality of her student.</p><p> </p><p>Well, lines have to be drawn anyway, she figures.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lisa gets out of the shower and quickly changes into her sweatpants and white tank top. She was about to settle down in her living room to watch Mindhunter, a Netflix series she discovered the night before, when her phone started to ring. She looks at the screen and it shows Jennie’s name. The woman just sighs as she picks it up and answers.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Lalisa.”</p><p>“Hey to you, too, Jen. Why’d you call?”</p><p>“To annoy you.”</p><p>“Try harder.”</p><p> </p><p>She hears the laughter of the woman on the other line and she’s sure Jennie’s gummy smile is out wherever she is.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, why’d you call?”</p><p>“I’m bored.”, Jennie deadpans.</p><p>“What do I have to do with that?”</p><p>“You’re my best friend, cheer me up.”</p><p>“Kim Jennie.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa rolls her eyes as she uses her other hand to hold the remote and shuffle through some movies. From the phone call, she can hear voices, low but belonging to others. She figures Jennie may be in a bar or any public place.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m having dinner alone. Would you be a good friend and accompany me?”</p><p>“I’m not hungry.”</p><p>“Do I sound like I care? Just sit down across me and watch me eat, c’mon.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs. Jennie has been her friend since college and no one else. Well, she had other people, too. But in terms of constants, Jennie was the only one. She’s probably the one she trusts the most, likely more than her own parents when it comes to her secrets. And the older girl has always known her like the back of her hand.</p><p> </p><p>She can complain and all, but Jennie always gets what she wants anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, where are you?”</p><p>“I’m at Marco’s.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa’s brow raises.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing at my dad’s resto?”</p><p>“About to have dinner, what the fuck, were you listening to a single word I said?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, fine. I’ll be there in ten.”</p><p>“See, you just can’t say no to me.”, Jennie says and chuckles again.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa ends the call and quickly changes her sweatpants into some jeans. She gets her leather jacket hung on the wall, and yes, it’s the same leather jacket that was drenched in Chaeyoung’s puke more than a week ago. It was her favorite anyway, so she took it upon herself to clean Chaeyoung’s mess.</p><p>Anyway, she hops onto her car and drives for the next few minutes to her dad’s restaurant. Her dad, or stepdad, Marco, has moved into Seoul just last year, when she heard about Lisa’s plan to permanently move there after fixing some stuff in Japan. Her mom went with him, too, and they have a place of their own to give Lisa some privacy. This decision surprised Lisa a bit, as she was somehow used to living far away from them when she was in college in Japan and they were in Bangkok. But still, she appreciates it so much.</p><p>She parks her car just in front of the restaurant and easily spots Jennie through the glass window. Jennie waves at her and she quickly gets inside, noticing the chilly air starting to envelope Seoul at night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Diving into your waters, your sea and it’s deep dark eyes</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tomorrow at noon I will go there to the skies</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa freezes on her feet when she hears a familiar voice echo through the restaurant. That angelic voice, matched with the plucking of the guitar, blanketed her with such warmth she couldn’t explain.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I said, oohh, can’t get my head around loving you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I said, oohh, I got this feeling</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She looks to her side and spots Chaeyoung a few feet away, sitting on a wooden stool, singing and playing her brown, acoustic Fender. Lisa gulps as Chaeyoung’s eyes meet hers, and she knows Chaeyoung recognizes her, as the young woman quickly blinks her eyes and bows her head a little in recognition.</p><p> </p><p><em>So this is what she meant when she said she had to work, hmm</em>, she thought.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just nods in return.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, sit down, you speechless dumbass.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks back at Jennie who was smirking at her seat. Things then clicked in her head, as she squints her eyes at Jennie before sitting across her.</p><p> </p><p>“Join you for dinner, huh.”</p><p>“What? You <em>are</em> joining me for dinner.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Anyway, that’s your student right?”, Jennie asks as she takes a sip of wine to hide her smirk.</p><p>“You know it’s her, you little shit.”</p><p> </p><p>The two of them look at Chaeyoung at the same time when they both hear soft claps from the people dining inside the restaurant. Chaeyoung politely bows her head and gets off the wooden stool, probably to have a short break before the next song. But Lisa was surprised when she saw her stepdad come out from the back to give Chaeyoung a quick hug. A soft, <em>oh</em>, escaped Jennie’s mouth as they both watch Chaeyoung converse with Lisa’s old man. It doesn’t take long though, until Marco grasps Chaeyoung’s arm and they both walk towards Lisa and Jennie. Lisa could read the words, <em>I’ll introduce you to some people</em>, leave her dad’s mouth and in no time, the two are standing in front of them.</p><p>Chaeyoung bows politely at Lisa and Jennie, her cheeks turning pink after Jennie waves in return.</p><p> </p><p>“Jennie, Lisa.”, Marco says.</p><p>“Hey, dad.”, Lisa replies.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s eyes widens after the mention of the word <em>dad</em>. Her eyes traveled between Lisa and Marco, and Jennie’s just massaging her jaw that’s been hurting for a while now.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung, meet Lisa, my daughter. That one’s Jennie, her friend.”</p><p>“It’s actually best friend, Marco. Hi, Chaeyoung. Lisa’s told me about you.”, Jennie says, smiling, as she extends her hand towards the younger girl, who’s clearly blushing. Chaeyoung shakes it and bows again. Lisa kicks Jennie’s leg under the table after the other girl spilled that last information.</p><p>“I— I know you. I mean I— I watch your choreographies for X Academy from time to time.”, Chaeyoung admits shyly.</p><p>“Lisa, Chaeyoung plays here during weekdays except on Mondays. She also attends SNU—“, Marco says, only to be cut off by his daughter.</p><p>“I know, she’s my student.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa side-eyes Jennie, whose grins are getting wider and wider with each minute passing.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, isn’t that great? You know my daughter!”</p><p>“Yes, Marco, it’s a <em>really</em> small world.”, Jenny butts in, taking another sip of wine to hide that stupid smile from the three people in front of her. With that, she earns another kick from Lisa.</p><p>“Why don’t you take a break for the night and have dinner with these two, okay? I’ll bring out some good food.”</p><p>“Oh, Marco, it’s oka—”</p><p>“Marco? What happened to <em>appa</em> now?”, Marco says to the girl beside him affectionately.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa’s eyes quickly look up at Chaeyoung. <em>Appa? She calls my dad “appa”?</em> Jennie on the other hand has her lips pursed as she bites the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from smiling even more. <em>Ain’t this cute? Good Lord</em>, she thinks to herself as she eyes the two women exchanging awkward glances at each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Join us, Chaeyoung. No one says no to me.”, Jennie says and pats the space beside her. Chaeyoung could only puff a breath and sit down as she was told.</p><p> </p><p>Jennie has this knowing look on her face, Lisa’s sure about that, as the said girl eyes her and Chaeyoung back and forth. An uncomfortable silence was about to linger in the air they are breathing, until Jennie decides to break the ice.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, it’s Kim <em>fucking </em>Jennie. That’s what she does best, and Lisa knows that look too well.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Chaeyoung, how’d you know Marco?”, Jennie says with a warm smile.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, this will be an interesting night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-- part 1 because there's a slight cliffhanger, lol. the next chapter is a continuation of the last scene here (and it's got more fluff, akskshhssd). I'll update again on Chaelisa Day (May 7th). Until then!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. everyone needs a best friend like *** ******, part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys! As promised, I'm updating today because it's chaelisa day!! I hope all of you have gone on twitter to show support to our Rosie using the hashtag #8YearsWithRosé ;)<br/>Anyway, I will put a Spotify link of the playlist I made especially for this update. It contains 8 songs, meant to set the mood while reading ('cause there's a little fluff in this update), hehe. Just scroll below to see the link.</p><p>Please excuse any typos and errors, I haven't edited this one huhu. I will try to update again next week! Your comments and kudos are highly appreciated! They actually help me direct the plot hahaha. </p><p>That's all! Happy May 7th! Happy Chaelisa Day! Happy 8 years with Rosé! &lt;3 ciao~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SPOTIFY LINK HERE:<strong><a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Pph1TQSYWl6jCUSmEzxyj?si=zvGddbKfSl-d8kxb8z9ZpQ"> // why don't you figure my heart out //</a> </strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, Chaeyoung, how’d you know Marco?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung scratches the back of her neck as she answers Jennie’s question.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uhm, last year, I started busking across the street just for fun and then Marco spotted me playing one night. He uh, he asked me if I was interested to play some music for his new restaurant. I said yes. A few gig nights in and he hired me completely.”, Chaeyoung says in a soft voice, far from her usual loud speaking voice that was always with conviction.</p><p>“You have a really nice voice, Chaeyoung-ah.”, Jennie comments, making the younger girl blush even more.</p><p>“I— uh, I didn’t know Marco was your dad, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks up at her when she realized Chaeyoung was talking to her. She just hums a little, ignoring the suggestive stares Jennie was directing her way.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s actually my stepdad.”</p><p> </p><p>The food started coming out of the kitchen and into their table. There was pasta, steak, and complimentary wine. Marco shoots Lisa a grin and a wave, earning a small smile from the woman. Chaeyoung went frozen for three seconds, as she realized that that was actually the first time she saw Lisa smile. Lisa always had this serious look on her face which could intimidate anyone in her opinion, and it was actually refreshing to see her smile for once. Chaeyoung thinks it suits Lisa, that’s for sure.</p><p> </p><p>Jennie clears her throat to ease the unspoken tension between the two before speaking again.</p><p> </p><p>“You said earlier that you watch my choreographies.”</p><p>“Oh, yes. Uhm, your choreographies are actually quite well-known among my batchmates.”</p><p>“For the right reasons, I hope?”, Jennie asks playfully to which Chaeyoung just smiles.</p><p>“Yes, absolutely.”</p><p> </p><p>The two girls continue to talk while Lisa just listened to them. She hates to admit it, but Chaeyoung in a white, folded-sleeved polo and denim jeans looks really good. Her strawberry blonde hair tied up in a slightly messy bun is just a plus. She mentally scolds herself when she realized she was staring for a bit too long.</p><p> </p><p>“Since you know about my videos, I suppose you’ve seen some of Lisa’s, too?”, Jennie suddenly asks, and, oh, does Lisa hate her for that. Chaeyoung shyly nods, avoiding eye contact with her mentor.</p><p>“Y-Yeah. It’s all on YouTube so it’s really not hard to find them.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung mentally curses herself because of that unintended confession. She was able to breathe a little when she didn’t notice any changes in Lisa’s expression, but Lisa was actually just good at hiding it. <em>So, she searched for it, huh</em>, Lisa tells herself, probably giving herself a pat on the shoulder. She doesn’t know why exactly, but learning that Chaeyoung has watched and let alone, searched, her dance covers online made her insides flutter.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s good, isn’t she?”, Jennie asks again, earning her another nudge on the shin.</p><p>“Y-Yeah, good is an understatement, really.”</p><p> </p><p>A wide smile escapes Jennie’s lips as she turns towards Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa, she thinks you’re more than good. Don’t you have anything to say to that?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa was dumbfounded right there and then. Oh, is Kim Jennie so dead to her after this night. She swallows the steak she’s been chewing for a while and looks over at Chaeyoung, who was blushing intensely and still avoiding her gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Chaeyoung. You, uh, you’re not so bad yourself, to be honest.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Not so bad yourself, what a fucking dumbass</em>, Jennie thought as she nudges on Lisa’s knee under the table.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Lisa right here has told me that you’re planning to get into TSPA.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa breathes two breaths through her mouth as she takes in this Kim Jennie who’s too busy spilling information she’d rather keep to herself.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope you don’t mind because I’ve sort of seen your dance cover?”, Jennie comments and Chaeyoung’s eyes widen in response.</p><p>“Oh, uh—”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I really, really loved it. It’s not every day that someone could perfectly do Lisa’s dance moves, let alone Cheshir Ha’s choreography, you know? No wonder this idiot right here’s interested to take you in.”, Jennie adds, pointing at Lisa with her fork.</p><p> </p><p>And right there and then, Lisa wishes that Jennie would just shut up. But it’s Kim Jennie. And like mentioned before, she always gets whatever the hell she wants.</p><p>Chaeyoung was just speechless. First, she just got praised by THE Kim Jennie, a dancer she’s always idolized; and second, she didn’t expect that Lisa has already decided to agree to be her personal mentor. For the record, Lisa hasn’t responded to her email yet and so, the younger girl just assumed that she wasn’t interested at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the spoiler, Jen.”, Lisa says.</p><p>“What do you mea— oh, you’re a fucking idiot, Lalisa. Why’d you wait so long?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just shakes her head and turns to face Chaeyoung, who still has her jaw dropped a little as she’s busy taking in the news.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry I haven’t responded right away. I already informed Director Yang about it, so, we’re good to go.”</p><p>“Oh… uhm, wow. I’m sorry I’m a little taken aback. Thank you, seonsaengnim.”, Chaeyoung says and smiles, and boy, did it cause Lisa’s insides to do somersaults. Jennie just chuckles at the politeness of the woman beside her.</p><p>“Just call her Lisa, you’re not in class now.”</p><p>“Uh— right. Okay.”</p><p>“You know, Chaeyoung, you and Lisa can actually use my dance studio for practice if you’d like that.”, Jennie suggests.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s eyes bright up in response. She looks at Lisa for approval and her mentor just nods and shrugs in return.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that okay though—”</p><p>“Of course, it is. Lisa’s my best friend and you’re a very talented performer and fan of mine, so.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung bows her head at Jennie who just laughs in response.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them eat their dinners with just snippets of small talk here and there, mostly initiated by Jennie. Chaeyoung excuses herself to go the ladies’ room and leaves the two best friends behind.</p><p> </p><p>“I know what you’re trying to do, Jen.”</p><p>“Oh, c’mon, I was just being my typical, kind self.”, Jennie says and shrugs, but her tone suggested otherwise and Lisa’s well aware of that.</p><p>“She’s my student and I don’t look at her that way. It’s inappropriate.”</p><p>“What? Exactly. You’re just offering some help. Loosen up a little, don’t overthink what I’m doing, Manoban.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa could only sigh at her. To her, whatever Jennie does won’t taint the way she sees the nature of her relationship with Chaeyoung. There are limits to be set, no matter how attractive and stupidly adorable Chaeyoung is. Limits are there, and Lisa’s just offering some mentorship. That’s it.</p><p>She stands up and goes to the ladies’ room, too, to freshen up. Just as she was about to enter, she hears Chaeyoung talking to someone on the phone, her voice a little too loud and excited.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Bitch, I don’t know how it happened but I’m just so happy now!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles to herself. Chaeyoung’s probably telling her friend about the mentorship. That’s adorable, she had to admit. She heard footsteps approaching the door and so she takes back that smile again. Chaeyoung gasps a little when their eyes met. Lisa moves to the right so Chaeyoung could pass, but Chaeyoung moves toward the same way. Lisa moves to the left and Chaeyoung does the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>She stops panicking when she hears Lisa’s voice, something with the way she says her name. Chaeyoung blinks twice and looks straight into Lisa’s eyes. They were warm and just… soft, not the usual fiery look she normally gets from her during class.</p><p> </p><p>“Calm down. It’s just me.”, Lisa tells her, and Chaeyoung’s sure her mouth went dry for some apparent reason.</p><p>“Y-Yeah, sure. I’ll— I’ll go ahead.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just nods as she lets Chaeyoung pass by her. She didn’t mean to, but she somehow got to breathe in the smell of Chaeyoung’s perfume. It’s like an intoxicating mix of roses and strawberries.</p><p> </p><p><em>That’s so like her</em>, she thought.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung spent the next thirty minutes just chatting with the two women, mostly Jennie. Lisa was silent most of the time, barely drinking any wine at all. Jennie, on the other hand, already has a pinkish tint on her cheeks and just enjoying her time asking Chaeyoung questions and answering some thrown her way.</p><p>It was almost 10 in the evening already when the three of them decided to be on their way. Marco gave the three girls one final hug before letting them go. Chaeyoung was shy to call him “Appa” in front of Lisa, and Marco and Jennie could only share knowing laughter because of the two, who were trying their hardest to avoid glancing at each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Where do you stay, Chaeyoung?”, Jennie asks as they approach Lisa’s car.</p><p>“Oh, uh, I stay at the university dorm.”</p><p>“Great, Lisa and I are headed that way, too. You should just go with us.”, Jennie exclaims, and Lisa just nods at Chaeyoung.</p><p>“Oh— it’s just a few minutes away from here so I’ll— I’ll just walk home—”</p><p>“There’s no way we’ll let you do that. It’s quite cold tonight, right, Lisa?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa knows that despite the genuine reasons behind it, Jennie was setting it up for more. But she wasn’t lying though. It was indeed a chilly evening, and Chaeyoung doesn’t have a coat with her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll drive you home.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa’s sure she caught a small smirk on Jennie’s face. Chaeyoung just smiles at the two of them and bows a little to say thank you. It’s quite adorable, if Lisa’s going to be honest, the way the younger girl is so formal at all times. She thinks Chaeyoung must not be this way when she’s with people she’s comfortable with.</p><p>Chaeyoung was about to sit on the backseat of Lisa’s car, but Jennie opens the door on the other side and quickly sits down, grabbing Chaeyoung’s guitar and placing it beside her. She smiles at the blonde girl and points at the passenger seat in front.</p><p> </p><p>“You should sit in front. I live just a couple of blocks away so Lisa’s dropping me off first.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks at Jennie through the rearview mirror and could only shake her head at the playful smile on her best friend’s face when she looks back at her. She knows the game Jennie’s trying to play, and she’s not interested to be in it. No matter how attractive the younger girl is.</p><p>Chaeyoung just returns it with a shy smile as she opens the door to the passenger seat. Lisa doesn’t look at her at all, and to Chaeyoung, that was a relief. She sits down and shuts the door close. She usually doesn’t bring her own car when she works at Marco’s, as she likes to stroll and observe the city lights. She finds it relaxing despite the crowd that usually surrounds her.</p><p>They mostly drive in silence, just enjoying the soft music playing through Lisa’s speakers. There were no accessories inside, that’s what Chaeyoung noticed. Just accents of black and white within. She figures it embodies the neat and sophisticated aura her mentor has. She discreetly glances at Lisa from time to time, and she couldn’t help but notice again the sharp features of Lisa’s side profile.</p><p> </p><p>The car stops in front of an expensive-looking apartment complex, just across the studio Jennie manages. Chaeyoung turns her head to face Jennie who waves at her in response.</p><p> </p><p>“Bye, Chaeyoung. Make sure she gets home safely, eh, Lalisa?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am.”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie just chuckles and closes the door before storming off the building. Lisa clears her throat as she feels the thinning air between her and Chaeyoung. An awkward silence envelopes the two, and as much as Chaeyoung’s scared to initiate anything, she breaks it first.</p><p> </p><p>“Is it true? You’re really sure that you want to take me in for the mentorship?”, she asks, looking at Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa doesn’t glance at her, her eyes darted on the road in front of them. Her left hand shifts from the steering wheel to her left thigh, tapping her fingers on the fabric of her jeans.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you questioning my decision?”, she asks in return.</p><p>“No! No— what I meant was… well, I thought you weren’t interested, to be honest. It’s been like, a week, I think, since I sent you that email.”</p><p>“Don’t you want me to?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p>This time, Lisa looks at her briefly then refocuses her attention back to driving.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you want me to be your mentor?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa hates the fact that her tone sounded like she was begging. She hears some shuffling on Chaeyoung’s side, and she looks at her, only to find Chaeyoung staring at her already. She swears she saw some blushing flood across Chaeyoung’s cheeks, and she’s worried that the same might’ve happened to her. She blinks once and faces the road once again.</p><p> </p><p>“I do. I really do.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa doesn’t know why, or more like she dodged the “why”, but she felt her chest clench in a non-painful way. She liked the sound of those words. She liked knowing that Chaeyoung’s interested to have her as her mentor. And Lisa couldn’t really comprehend it yet, but she felt this surge of willingness to give and help the younger girl in any way possible and imaginable.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.”, she hums.</p><p>“I’ll work hard for it, that’s for sure.”, Chaeyoung adds.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just nods in response. Words didn’t need to be said anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“When… when can I start?”</p><p>“Are your weekends available? Maybe we can start next week. I’ll ask a colleague of mine if she can join us. For your vocal trainings, I mean.”</p><p>“Okay. I’ll make sure to free up my weekends.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>There was another wave of silence between them, but for some reason, it felt less awkward than the one they had earlier. They stop in front of Chaeyoung’s dormitory and the younger girl unbuckles her seatbelt before facing Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much—”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“I mean it. Thank you so much, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung gulps in her seat, her cheeks running warm and pink when she hears a small chuckle escape Lisa’s plump lips. Lisa had to bite the inside of her cheek so she could stop. She was a second late from preventing it to happen, but she doesn’t regret it either way. The flustered look on Chaeyoung’s face made the regrets evaporate into thin air.</p><p> </p><p>It’s just her and Chaeyoung there.</p><p> </p><p>“W-what—”</p><p>“It’s Lisa. I told you it’s just Lisa outside class.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung ducks her head down in embarrassment. As much as she wants to call her by her name, she couldn’t help but be taken aback every time. Lisa just seems so… high above there, so out of her league that saying her name felt illegal.</p><p> </p><p>But illegal things are oftentimes fun and <em>freeing</em>, aren’t they?</p><p> </p><p>And so, she lets herself free.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Thank you, Lisa.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung smiles at her and Lisa could only look at her with a blank face. As much as she wanted to smile back, her neurons seemed to have synapsed inside. She lagged in her seat as she watched Chaeyoung go out and close the door.</p><p>Before Chaeyoung could completely disappear from sight, Lisa realized that the younger girl’s guitar is still on her backseat. She immediately frees herself from her seatbelt and opens the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung!”, she calls out.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung turns around and realizes what was wrong. She rushes towards her mentor while the other girl bends over the door to reach her guitar. She turns to face Chaeyoung and hands her Fender back to her.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about it.”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa suddenly catches the shy look on Chaeyoung’s face. She follows her gaze and it drops down on the leather jacket she was wearing. She runs her right hand on the front pocket and adjusts it a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it’s the same jacket you threw up on.”, she says, waiting for that blush to spill over Chaeyoung’s face.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s there in no time.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa couldn’t help but realize just how attractive Chaeyoung looks up close, just standing there, probably a couple of breaths away from her.</p><p> </p><p>“God, about that—”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung sighs in defeat.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>A cold wind blows and she and Chaeyoung flinch at the contact.</p><p> </p><p>“You should get inside.”</p><p>“I—”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“—okay. Thank you again. Drive safely, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung quickly catches that formality slip once again, but she didn’t take it back as she watches the other girl shake her head and smile before opening the door to the driver’s side.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye, Chaeyoung.”, Lisa says before driving away.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung stayed there until the car disappeared from sight. She grips and hugs the guitar tightly to her chest as the last flicker of the rear lights from Lisa’s car left her view.</p><p> </p><p>She saw Lisa smile three times that night.</p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t so bad for an early autumn evening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>To be continued</em>…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Lisa likes to toss and turn in love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! here's a new update for y'all! THIS IS QUITE LONG, it could've been cut into two chapters but it didn't feel right to me so i decided not to touch it anymore, lmao. </p><p>also, i made another playlist for this chapter. just scroll a little below to find the link! you may also follow me on Spotify. My username is "llsmnbn". </p><p>that's all! please excuse any typos or errors you might see. i haven't edited this chapter, lol. <br/>I will try to update again before the week ends or maybe next week. your comments and kudos are highly appreciated. please let me know what you think! your interactions really inspire me. </p><p>until then!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spotify link here: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5x0AC9sjVSxfX8pKOPa2ad?si=eCRgX_t_S4CHaY_au8pq0w">I wanna see you, but you're not mine (5)</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>TW: mention of pet's death</strong> (fictional purposes only; all petpinks are alive and well in real life, and let's hope that they stay healthy for a very long time!)</p><p>----</p><p> </p><p>A week has passed by smoothly. It’s Thursday once again, and two days from today, Chaeyoung’s mentorship under Lisa and her colleague will start. She’d be lying if she says that she’s not nervous at all. Hell, the word nervous is a goddamn understatement. She feels like throwing up at the thought of having one on one classes with Lisa and the still unknown colleague. Lisa only says it’s her senior in college and a well-known singer. Chaeyoung’s dead curious, and that last fact about the anonymous vocal trainer made things more tense for her.</p><p>Chaeyoung’s bad luck was just about to start for this day though. She’s at the students’ lounge and cafeteria, having breakfast with Jisoo and Seulgi, and that’s where it all began.</p><p> </p><p>“Excited for Saturday?”, Jisoo asks.</p><p>“Ecstatic describes it better in my opinion. Please tell me you feel that way? Because I’m deadass jealous of what you’re about to have, Chaeyoung-ah.”, Seulgi adds.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung could only sigh. She’s excited, she’s been wishing for this day for quite some time, and her dream of attending TSPA seems clearer now that she’ll be under the guidance of one of its alumni. But at the same time, the poor blonde is nervous as fuck. She knows she couldn’t fuck up this chance.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m about to shit my pants. That’s the best way to describe—”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could finish her sentence, her phone started to ring. <em>Mom &lt;3</em> is what flashed on the screen, and Chaeyoung quickly picked it up to answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, mom?”</p><p>“Chaeyoung-ah, how are you?”</p><p>“I’m good, why’d you call so early?”</p><p> </p><p>She hears a slight pause from the other line before her mom speaks again.</p><p> </p><p>“Well— you know your pet fish? Joohwangie?”</p><p>“Yeah, what about him?”</p><p>“He, uh, Chaeyoung-ah, Joohwangie’s gone.”</p><p> </p><p>And that was just the intro to her bad day. Chaeyoung’s eyes widen in shock, and her two friends stare at her in concern.</p><p> </p><p>“What??? Why? What happened to him??”</p><p>“Your sister and I went away for a business trip yesterday, and there was a sudden power interruption in our place. We didn’t know about it and when we went back this morning, Joohwangie— uh, he was already floati—”</p><p>“Joohwangie!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung puts down her phone and started tearing up at the news she just received. Jisoo grabbed the phone from her hands, fearing it might fall, and also to tell Chaeyoung’s mom that she’s out here breaking down over the loss of a beloved pet. Seulgi tries her best to shush her friend, who was crying out loud, loud enough to attract the attention of some people in the cafeteria.</p><p>To prevent more stares from reaching their way, Jisoo and Seulgi ushered their friend back to the dormitory so she could freshen up. She was still crying and sobbing out of nowhere on their way back. And just when they thought it was close to being over, Jisoo and Seulgi could only facepalm themselves when they watched Chaeyoung patting her pockets repeatedly to find her key.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you just lock yourself ou—”</p><p>“AAAHHHH!!!!”</p><p> </p><p>And there goes another breakdown.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung-ah, are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Seulgi knocks on the door of the cubicle where Chaeyoung was fixing herself up. It’s been an hour or so since their friend stopped crying her eyeballs out, and man, did she look fucked up. Seulgi was only able to breathe when the cubicle door opened, and it revealed an almost lifeless-looking Park Chaeyoung, her hair in a messy bun and her eyes almost falling out of their sockets.</p><p>Jisoo appears from behind Seulgi and offers a cup of hot coffee to her friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, this might help you wake up.”</p><p>“Thank you, guys. God, I’m sorry for dragging you into this but this day is just so—”</p><p>“It’s okay, don’t sweat it, Chae.”, Seulgi cuts her off.</p><p> </p><p>They slowly get out of the restroom and start to walk towards the dance studio. Their usual Monday and Thursday routines start this way. They would meet up in the cafeteria, have breakfast and chat, and then go to their modern dance class before 10:00 AM, only to separate to their respective schedules after lunch. The only difference was that this particular day started off on a wrong foot, and Chaeyoung could already feel that her mishaps for the day were far from over.</p><p>She groggily walks along the hallway, feeling like a fucking zombie that’s been deprived of meaty brains for a week. She definitely feels that way right now. It wasn’t any kind of exaggeration for her, as her pet Joohwangie was her Mom’s gift to her on the summer of previous year when she went back to Australia for a short vacation. That pet fish, no matter how small and stupid-looking, meant a lot to her, and she thinks she’s warranted to feel this devastated over his death.</p><p> </p><p>The two girls walking beside her continued to chat in a low voice, and Chaeyoung only responds to them by shaking or nodding her head whenever necessary. Their voices seem to fade out to her senses, as her mind continues to wander off far away from her body. She didn’t even notice them calling her out.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t even notice the person in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung—”</p><p>“Roseanne—”</p><p>“Miss Park—”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*Splashes*</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, shi—”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung goes back to her senses when she felt drops of hot coffee splash on her hands after what seemed to be a bump ahead. To her horror, not only was her cup out of her hand, Lisa was there, standing in front of her and wearing a now coffee-stained white shirt and jeans.</p><p>Lisa’s hands were up on her sides as she stares at the spilled coffee on her shirt. Jisoo and Seulgi have their hands on their mouths, trying to muffle every curse that could escape their lips given what they just witnessed.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my God.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was so close to tearing up once again when she saw the way Lisa closed her eyes, pressing her eyelids firmly. The older girl puffs out some air that slightly brushed off her bangs. When she opens her eyes again, Chaeyoung swears she’s never seen Lisa that pissed.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa seonsaengnim—”</p><p>“It’s okay. Just— just have this cleaned up. We don’t want another <em>accident</em> here.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa turns around and walks towards what they figure was the faculty room at the end of the hallway. Lisa’s shirt was drenched, and what worries Chaeyoung more is the fact that she spilled a lot, and that coffee was fresh out a vending machine. It was literally hot, and she just spilled it all over her mentor.</p><p> </p><p><em>Great, first you threw up on her, and like that wasn’t enough, you decided to shower her with coffee. Great. Fucking great.</em>, she curses herself.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung tries her best to suck in some breath and hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. There were at least five people in the hallway aside from her two friends that saw what just happened, and there’s nothing she hates more than attracting unnecessary attention.</p><p>She doesn’t know why, but the frustration she’s feeling this morning was enough to cap off her week, in her opinion. She ruffles her hair in slight anger directed towards herself, and Jisoo and Seulgi could only watch as they believe it best to let Chaeyoung have her space.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily for them, a janitor came by and told the girls off about the cleaning of the hallway. Chaeyoung bows not just once, hell, she couldn’t even count the number of times she did that to say thank you to the kind man who covered for them. The three girls went straight into the dance studio, and Chaeyoung just couldn’t shrug off the defeated feeling covering her like a gray cloud above her head.</p><p> </p><p>What didn’t help was the fact that just minutes later, Lisa entered the room. She obviously changed her shirt, as she’s now wearing a red and blue cardigan and denim pants with white shoes. Her hair was tied up again, but what was most noticeable aside from her changed wardrobe is the look on her face. She still looks pissed, to put it in one way. And Chaeyoung could only slap herself in her mind for she feels an incoming firestorm any minute from now.</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeng, if you’re not feeling well, we can take you—”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’ve already missed one class before, threw up on our mentor, and spilled coffee on her fancy white shirt just minutes ago. If I miss this class, she’d hate my guts for that already.”, she says with a flat tone.</p><p> </p><p>There’s nothing more that Chaeyoung wants at that time than to sprint out of the dance studio. She feels…. <em>Ashamed?</em> <em>Embarrassed? Humiliated?</em> She doesn’t know exactly. It’s like a combination of all those negative emotions that God decided to pour in one fucking blow.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure, Chaeng?”, Jisoo asks her again. She only nods in response.</p><p> </p><p><em>To hell with this day</em>, she thought.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p><em>To hell with this day</em> really aged well for Park Chaeyoung. She can barely catch up with the steps Lisa’s teaching, and she could already feel Lisa suppressing the fumes from coming out of her nostrils because of disappointment. Chaeyoung couldn’t help it. Her morning was a complete mess, and right now, she feels like she’s making a fool out of herself by dragging the whole B team.</p><p>Just almost an hour ago, before starting, Lisa’s divided them into two groups for their own convenience. She’s teaching a new style of dance that mixes other styles into one routine. It’s actually not that complicated, and that’s what Chaeyoung hates the most about it.</p><p> </p><p>It’s so fucking easy and she’s still making a mess.</p><p> </p><p>Now, Lisa’s sat down with her back facing them. She’s looking at her students through the mirror in front, her brows furrowing as she examines and watches out for every misstep they’re making.</p><p> </p><p>And of course, Chaeyoung’s the <em>fucking</em> star of the class again.</p><p> </p><p>“Smile. It’s not a funeral. Smile.”, Lisa calls out, her hand stretched behind her and pointing at Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung heard her, that’s for sure, but the pressure of this morning’s mishaps have rained down on her emotions and she couldn’t bring herself to crack up a single smile. She can hear Jisoo and Seulgi’s soft whispers, telling her to smile, but they weren’t working. And boy, she could see Lisa from her peripheral view, her eyebrow raised at the lack of response from the blonde.</p><p> </p><p>That was enough.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa raises her hand to signal them to stop.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for smiling everyone, except for Miss Park Chaeyoung.”, Lisa says with a very unsatisfied look on her face. It almost looks distasteful.</p><p> </p><p>And Chaeyoung knows worse things are about to come as she saw Lisa turn around to face her.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you to smile, why didn’t you smile?”</p><p>“I didn’t hear—“, she tries to reason, but Lisa wasn’t done.</p><p>“I told you to smile but you just ignored my word and you just—”</p><p> </p><p>Seemingly out of words due to disappointment, Lisa could only sway her hands as she stares at the dumbfounded look on the blonde’s face. Chaeyoung wanted to reason out, <em>I had a really fucked up start to my day, okay? My pet fish died, no matter how petty that sounds it still fucking hurts because I loved that creature so much. I got locked out of my room because I’m fucking stupid. Not to mention I spilled hot coffee on your fancy white shirt. Need I say more?</em></p><p> </p><p>Oh, how she wishes she were able to say those. She kept mum instead, knowing that explaining her side would do no good as it didn’t seem to be valid enough anyway. Chaeyoung was so ready to get fucked by life when she saw a slight hint of eye roll from Lisa.</p><p>She feels bad, so bad. She knows she’s dragging others down. She couldn’t even stare at her groupmates that she’s sure were either pitying her or cursing her in their heads.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry—”</p><p>“You don’t have to be sorry to me, you have to be sorry to your friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa made a point, Chaeyoung’s sure about that.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep messing up and I won’t let you pass this class, Miss Park. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa had to bite the inside of her cheeks as she realized that she may have sounded quite harsh with that last statement. Instead, she sighs and looks away from Chaeyoung, willing to drop it right there and then. Lisa knows she’s starting to earn a reputation for being strict in her classes, and she’s not ashamed of that at all. Hell, she did not go through two years of rough training in TSPA for nothing. She thinks that if her students really want to make it out there after college, they have to respect themselves and their performance above everything else. And to her, it’s the utmost form of disrespect to performing arts if students settle with mediocrity.</p><p>That’s why she’s being hard to them. She couldn’t allow herself to be soft <em>during</em> class hours. Even to Chaeyoung. Especially to Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p>However, she couldn’t help but look back at the blonde when Chaeyoung turns around to face her groupmates. She bows down to them for three seconds before saying,</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, guys.”</p><p> </p><p>And that was Lisa’s cue to let it go. It’s not an unusual thing to do, but Lisa respects her actions. She knows it takes a lot of courage to admit to yourself that you’re not doing things at full capacity, let alone admit that you’re dragging everyone down.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa respects that. It was like a newfound admiration for the student in question. She’d prefer to classify it that way.</p><p> </p><p>And so, she leaves it at that, especially when Chaeyoung makes up for it in the following minutes by getting her shit together. Lisa knows something’s off with her, as the power isn’t there in her movements. Everything looks forced, but still, she was able to make up for the mistakes she made in the routine earlier, and to Lisa, that seems like a relief. She couldn’t help but worry a little, however, as she’s about to take in Chaeyoung for the mentorship and she wants to unleash the young girl’s potential. Chaeyoung was a natural at everything she does, Lisa’s sure about that. But it worries her that the girl didn’t seem confident enough especially today, two days before they start. It was far from the Chaeyoung that was dancing her heart out in the rehearsal videos she sent her.</p><p> </p><p>And that worries her, but class hours didn’t seem like the right time to get to the bottom of it.</p><p> </p><p>And so, she lets it go for now.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>That afternoon, Lisa changes into more comfortable practice clothes before making her way to the dance studio. This has been her routine at SNU for the past two weeks, but today, she was also doing it in hopes of catching Chaeyoung.</p><p>There’s nothing much to it. She was just worried at how the young girl acted this morning, and she wants to understand why. As her mentor, she feels like she and Chaeyoung should be on the same page.</p><p> </p><p><em>It’s out of concern</em>, she tells herself.</p><p> </p><p>To her disappointment, Chaeyoung wasn’t there when she opened the door to the dance studio. It was empty.</p><p> </p><p>And for some reason, it reflected what she felt.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Evening came on that same fateful day and Lisa felt like going out for a walk. She was in her jeans, plain white shirt and leather jacket, and she made sure that her pet cats were in order and full before leaving her apartment.</p><p>She felt her phone vibrating twice in her pocket, and she wastes no time to check it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>From: Joohyun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How are you? I’m in Paris now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just ate some baguette sandwich we used to have here.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lisa stops walking as she felt a familiar clench in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>She opens the next message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>From: Joohyun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you, Lisa.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa had to take three deep breaths after reading her ex’s messages. It was two weeks ago when Joohyun last sent her a text. It was two weeks ago when Jennie reminded her to block Joohyun’s number.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t. She was preoccupied with work and she didn’t feel the need to do so. She knows Jennie would curse her for doing this but to Lisa, it was a real success story that she hadn’t responded to Joohyun, as the urge to do so were always so strong.</p><p> </p><p>Except tonight. The urge felt weaker than usual.</p><p> </p><p>And for the first time in months, she didn’t need to think twice whether to put her phone back to her pocket or not. She did it without much thought. She didn’t really know why, but to her, it felt like a single lock was removed in this chain of heartbreak and self-loathing she got from Bae Joohyun.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa starts to walk again, her mind still recovering from her latest actions. Without her realizing or planning at all, she found herself walking on the street just across her stepfather’s restaurant. She stops just before the crosswalk, and she mentally curses herself for not wearing her eyeglasses as she could not see the people inside.</p><p>She tells herself that it was a spontaneous thought to try to find out if Chaeyoung was there to play for the night. If she recalls correctly, the blonde girl plays on weekdays except Monday. Since she’s out anyway, why not try and see?</p><p> </p><p><em>Yeah, there’s no harm in trying that, right?</em>, she asks herself.</p><p> </p><p>And so, Lisa crosses the street with her hands tucked inside her pockets. Evenings in Seoul were starting to be chilly, and so she hurries her pace and opens the door to the restaurant. She looks around, as if expecting and <em>hoping</em> to spot a familiar face she wanted to see since the afternoon.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung wasn’t there, and she could only bite her lip as she fought the thoughts running inside her head.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s not here.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa turns to her side and sees her stepfather, Marco, with his arms crossed in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung. If you’re looking for her, she’s not here.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa hates the knowing look that Marco’s giving her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not looking for her.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. I thought wrong then. Thought you might be interested to know but the girl asked for a night off from work; said she’s not feeling well.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just hums in return.</p><p> </p><p>“You came here to have dinner, then?”</p><p>“Actually, I’m about to go, Dad.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa scolds herself as that didn’t help her cause at all. Luckily, her old man just nods in response, still with that knowing look, but Lisa was thankful he didn’t say more, nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>“Have lunch with me and your mom on Sunday, dear?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, Dad.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, Lisa left the restaurant and went straight home. And boy, did it take her hours of tossing and turning before she was off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lisa tries again the following night. For this particular evening, she was more honest to herself in terms of her intention to go out for another <em>walk</em>.</p><p>Her phone buzzes once again in her pocket, and Lisa felt the familiar anxious feeling she always gets when she receives messages at this time of the night. And she wasn’t wrong. It was Joohyun again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>From: Joohyun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The chef at Epicure remembered me. He asked where you were. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish you were here.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs to herself. She felt the persistent urge to text her back, but just like the night before, it didn’t feel strong enough to push her to violate her limits.</p><p> </p><p>It was weak once again and Lisa was <em>honestly</em> thankful for it. She slides her phone back to her pocket with no question.</p><p> </p><p>She still didn’t realize why, nor did she try to figure it out by then. To her, it was enough that she’s slowly finding the courage to step back and leave things as they are between her and Joohyun. She felt like she needed that progress, and she’s actually making it.</p><p> </p><p>It took a few more minutes and Lisa finds herself again on the same spot before the crosswalk towards her stepfather’s restaurant. For tonight, she made sure to wear her eyeglasses, its temples tucked carefully under her beanie. She was just in a hoody and loose pants and hell; does she feel underdressed to even be there outside the restaurant.</p><p>But her wardrobe worries were thrown away in the chilly air of Seoul when she spotted a familiar blonde singing inside. For once, Lisa admits to herself that she’s happy with that sight and lets a smile form on her lips. She gathers herself together and crosses the street, and in no time, she finds herself inside the restaurant.</p><p>Lisa’s sure that Chaeyoung saw her, as she could feel the sudden change in her posture while singing. She looked tense and nervous, but her eyes met Lisa’s and the younger girl still manages to insert a smile while singing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But I wanna give you wild love, the kind that never slows down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanna take you high up, let our hearts be the only sound</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa felt some sort of static ringing in her ears as the younger girl didn’t shy away from looking at her. That time, it felt like Chaeyoung was taking control of the atmosphere around them, and Lisa was at the mercy of her eyes. So, she looks away first and finds an empty seat not too far from Chaeyoung’s sight.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung went on to sing three more songs, and within that timeframe, Lisa found herself just sitting there, taking a few sips of wine in between as she struggled to escape the claustrophobic hold of Chaeyoung’s voice. From time to time, she would catch Chaeyoung looking at her, but not for once did the younger girl break away from the stares they both shared. Her eyes were full of unspoken passion and emotion that Lisa wished she could lay out in front of her and read. It made her confused and curious and wanting for more.</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung-ah.”, Lisa calls out with no hesitation whatever in her voice. She gestures for Chaeyoung to sit across her and she saw that familiar blush taint the younger girl’s cheeks, a little too different from the passionate version of the girl she saw just a minute ago.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung sits across her, and the waiter near them was quick to get Chaeyoung a glass of wine. Chaeyoung thanks the guy in her mind as she believes this glass of wine could save her a whole deal right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Seonsaengn—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa offers a small smile as she stops the girl halfway and that’s when Chaeyoung realized what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>“Right. It’s Lisa outside class.”, Chaeyoung says.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Are you about to tell me you’re not interested in mentoring me anymore?”</p><p>“What? No.”</p><p> </p><p>They share a short silence followed by a soft chuckle and Lisa doesn’t know why but she felt a little more carefree in this situation compared to the previous interactions she’s had with Chaeyoung. Sure, they never really talked outside of class aside from that dinner with Jennie, but this version of her in front of this version of Chaeyoung was more… <em>relaxed</em> than what she would normally be when with people she’s not really close to.</p><p>And it just adds to the curiosity she felt.</p><p> </p><p>“I apologize.”, Lisa starts, and she doesn’t know why she started to break the silence that way.</p><p>“For?”</p><p>“If I was harsh, or for somehow threatening to fail you in class.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung just shakes her head, her fingers fidgeting the wineglass she’s holding.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not apologizing for being strict, it’s not like that. It’s more on the implications of my words.”</p><p>“I should be the one apologizing. I wasn’t myself earlier and there are no excuses for that.”</p><p>“Still, I feel like I should ask why.”</p><p> </p><p>The silence that followed made Lisa think that she may have crossed a fine line between being a mentor and being “Lisa” outside class. She was about to take it back when Chaeyoung answered her.</p><p> </p><p>“For starters, my pet fish died.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“I know that sounds dumb but that was a gift from my mom, and it meant a lot to me. I got locked out of my room at the time when all I ever wanted was to take a rest and skip class. I felt like I was in a trance or something, and I guess that’s why I spilled that coffee on your white shirt and that just capped off everything like an icing—”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung looks up at Lisa who was just staring at her with her warm, brown eyes. That was probably the softest look she ever got from the woman, and boy, did she wish she could frame that.</p><p> </p><p>“I know these sound dumb and maybe even made up but that really put me off. I don’t know if that explains everything but— ugh, sorry for rambling—"</p><p>“Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung stops midway her sentence. She’s always hated being cut off, but she was welcomed by this warm blanket of emotion radiating from Lisa’s eyes, and she made an exception right there and then.</p><p> </p><p>“When I was in my first year in TSPA, my pet cat died and that started what was probably the worst week of my stay there. It was performance week and Larry, that small thing, was my only family there. I almost failed the final performance and got reprimanded. Almost had the whole thing crumbling down.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung just stares as she listens to the Lisa. That was probably the longest sentence Lisa’s ever said to her, and for some reason, she wanted to hear more. Lisa noticed the younger girl staring, and that was when she realized that she may have been talking too long. She’s usually not this way with other people, but just like when Chaeyoung was singing, the silence she got from the listening girl had a tight grip on her being. It was comfortable for some <em>unknown</em> reason. Probably the most comfortable she’s ever gotten in weeks.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess my point is, some days will try you more than others. Does it excuse your performance earlier? Probably no. In my opinion, it doesn’t.”, Lisa says to which Chaeyoung just snorts in return.</p><p>“But many things can scare you when you’re young, you know?”, Lisa continues.</p><p> </p><p>It was more of a vague explanation of what Lisa was trying to put across, but Chaeyoung understood it well. She just nods and smiles a little, still slightly in denial that she’s able to see this side of Lisa she didn’t expect. It was open and warm and comfortable, far from the Lisa in her class that’s fiery and walled up.</p><p> </p><p>She prefers this more but knows this might not occur too often. The mentorship is starting tomorrow and she’s expecting the version of Lisa she’s more used to, that’s why Chaeyoung tells herself she’s not letting this night be put to waste. She’ll remember this quite fondly if she’ll be honest.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”, Chaeyoung says.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Thank you, Lisa.”</p><p> </p><p>That was the first time that Lisa didn’t need to remind Chaeyoung to call her by her name, and it sounded so good and right.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“You sing really well, by the way.”, Lisa adds.</p><p> </p><p>A short silence enveloped them as Chaeyoung couldn’t form a single response to that compliment. Words didn’t need to be said anyway, and so she lets it slide. It was silent again but that didn’t last long as a server comes by to place food in front of the two ladies.</p><p> </p><p>“Fresh tagliatelle with white truffle oil for two, plus some wine.”</p><p>“We didn’t—“, Chaeyoung says.</p><p>“Courtesy of Chef Marco. He told me not to let you two leave without having dinner first.”</p><p> </p><p>The server excuses himself and Lisa just looks by the kitchen door, where Marco’s peeking and waving at her. She smiles widely at him, and Chaeyoung follows her gaze only to do the same.</p><p> </p><p>They ate their dinner mostly in comfortable silence, with some talks in between as to how they’ll plan out the training that will last for two months before the scheduled “final audition” for TSPA.</p><p> </p><p>The two finally separate ways outside the restaurant as Chaeyoung was still supposed to come by the local drugstore before going home. They settled with a comfortable exchange of goodbyes. The two ladies kept it to themselves but truthfully, they wanted more time together. No one was ready to admit it yet as they know where fine lines are and that those lines have to be respected. And so, they left it that way, still unaware of whatever connection it is they share.</p><p> </p><p>That night, Lisa slept late again, still tossing and turning, but for all the right reasons.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. first day highs, canned sprite, and other gay frights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! i'm updating once again because i'll have to go back to work next week and i'll be busy by then :/ but i would still try to update once a week after this one. i'll do my best to not lose track of this fic.</p><p>anyway, I prepared another playlist for this chapter. scroll down below to see the link! i highly suggest that you listen to the playlist i prepped to get a full reading experience, hahaha.</p><p>that's all! your comments are highly encouraged, and both kudos and comments are highly appreciated! your feedback helps me direct the plot huhuhaha. </p><p>please excuse any errors u might see, i haven't edited this lmao. thank you very much and i hope you'll enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spotify link here: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dgDi4UJH5ztA81aY2xmAy?si=sKJJBWFbS02yh6A0D8m_5g">she had a face straight outta magazine (6)</a></p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was in front of the mirror with her bathrobe on and a towel wrapped in her head. It’s 12:00 noon and she made sure to add a few minutes more to the usual time it takes for her to choose what clothes to wear. Her first practice under Lisa’s supervision starts in an hour, but she didn’t think too much as Jennie’s studio is just a couple of blocks away from SNU. She’s planning to just walk on her way there, but before she allows herself to worry about that, she puts her full attention to her wardrobe.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Chae, you can wear sweatpants and oversized shirt and you’d still look great.", Jisoo says.</p><p>“Correction, Roseanne can wear nothing at all, and she’d still look great.”, Seulgi adds.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, yes. Her two friends are inside her dorm room, sitting comfortably on her bed as they watch their friend prepare. They’re munching on some cold popcorn Chaeyoung prepared more than an hour ago, and they could only shake their heads at the look Chaeyoung gives to herself on the mirror.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanna wear my crop top, does that scream some first day vibe?”, she asks as she turns around.</p><p> </p><p>Seulgi snorts at her, and Jisoo, well, she just glances at Chaeyoung shortly and shrugs before turning her attention back to the game she’s playing in her phone.</p><p> </p><p>“Honey, you’re losing it. Stop overthinking.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine.”</p><p> </p><p>She slips into a black shirt and black track pants. Yes, she did that in front of her friends. When you’re friends with Seulgi and Jisoo, the last thing you have to worry about is them peeking at your boobs. Okay, fine, they do that but not in a perverted way. And besides, they’ve been friends for four years. There’s nothing left that they haven’t seen about each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope, I don’t like this.”</p><p>“Really? I thought it looked great.”, Jisoo comments.</p><p>“Yeah and all I need is a visor cap and I’ll pass for an ahjumma.”</p><p> </p><p>She takes off the shirt she was wearing and slips into her Adidas crop tank. She quickly wears her pair of Stan Smith and returns in front of the mirror. Chaeyoung gives herself a small smirk, finally satisfied with how she looks.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, no need to be smug about your good looks. We get it, you’re hot.”, Seulgi says and Chaeyoung rolls her eyes at her.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was about to praise herself anyway when her phone beeped. She slides it open and checks the email she got.</p><p> </p><p>It was from Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>For some apparent reason, the fact that her mentor (or Lisa, outside class) just messaged her made her throat run dry. She doesn’t know if she’s worried to open it, let alone know what it’s about. Seulgi notices the look on her face and she nudges Jisoo behind her, who finally looks up from her phone.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay?”, Jisoo asks.</p><p>“Yeah, you look flustered there. Who is it?”</p><p>“Lisa.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung shoots a glare at Seulgi when she hears her snort.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys are on a first name basis now, huh?”</p><p>“Shut up, it’s not like that. She just wants me to call her by her name.”</p><p>“Right, of course she’d want that.”, Seulgi answers.</p><p>“Funny, call her by her name, that sounds like that gay movie we watched last year. God, Armie Hammer can, like, <em>hammer</em> me down anytime.”</p><p> </p><p>That was Jisoo, by the way.</p><p> </p><p>Seulgi faces Jisoo and cups her face, reenacting that particular scene in an exaggerated, more dramatic way.</p><p> </p><p>“Call me by your name and I’ll you by mine.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung rolls her eyes at her two friends and throws her towel at them, only to be welcomed by a cracking laughter.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung hadn’t really told them what happened between her and Lisa. <em>It sounds funny when you say that, Chae</em>, she tells herself. Anyway, you get the point, she didn’t really share so much to Jisoo and Seulgi, especially about that dinner she had with Lisa last night. It’s not like she’s keeping a secret, she just didn’t feel the need to say it. It was like… a special night that she wants to cherish on her own for as long as she could.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, about that night.</p><p> </p><p>When Chaeyoung finally entered her apartment, she slammed her back against the door and put a hand over her chest. It must be the adrenaline right? Or the elevated heart rate you get when you walk for some time? <em>Yes, that must be it</em>. But Chaeyoung wasn’t breathless from the walk, heck, the woman had to stop walking every after twenty steps just so she could collect her thoughts. She felt like hopping and bouncing every step on that way home. And as much as she wanted to tell herself that it was the adrenaline or the goddamn walk home, she knew to herself that those irregular heartbeats originated from somewhere <em>deeper</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And she hated the fact that she knew where it came from.</p><p> </p><p>And so, she shut her eyes tightly as she tried her best to regulate those stupid, spiking throbs in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>That night, she heard Lisa laugh. Not only that, Lisa smiled at her and complimented her, and that was the longest, most decent conversation she had with her. And it felt comfortable. There was a sense of familiarity, like an unspoken connection, or the kind that’s invisible but travels in waves between them. It felt like going home to a place she’d known for a long time, with the difference being the fact that it hadn’t been long since she met Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>And Lisa’s her mentor.</p><p> </p><p>And so, Chaeyoung spent the rest of that night suppressing the stupid comfort that’s been washing over her chest for the past few hours. She tossed and turned in her bed, too, unaware that the other woman had been doing the same.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, back to present, Chaeyoung puts her attention back to phone as she finally reads Lisa’s email.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To: park_chaeyoung@gmail.com</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From: lisamanoban@snu.edu.kr</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Good afternoon. I’ll see you in a while at Jennie’s studio.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your vocal mentor will meet you there, too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take care.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung bites her lips at the thought of meeting the still anonymous vocal coach who’d be helping her. As mentioned by Lisa last time, it was a famous singer and a close friend of hers, and Chaeyoung still doesn’t know if that’s supposed to calm her down or put more pressure on her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>Even so, she glances one more time, and then once more, at that last sentence.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Take care.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She mentally slaps herself. <em>She told you to take care because your clumsy ass might spill stuff again later, that’s it</em>, she says in her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung picks up her backpack and hoodie and looks at her two friends.</p><p> </p><p>“My practice is until 7 pm. I’ll be back tonight. Stay here for as long as you crackheads want.”</p><p>“Sure it’s just 7 pm? Got a feeling you’ll be late later.”</p><p> </p><p>Seulgi smirks at her and Chaeyoung knows exactly what she’s suggesting.</p><p> </p><p>“Ha ha, real funny. Bye.”</p><p>“Bye, Chae.”</p><p>“Good luck!”</p><p> </p><p>With that, she starts to walk out of their dormitory, making sure that she has her hoodie on because the last thing she wants is to freeze to death on her first day. Ten minutes in, and she finds herself in front of X Academy. God, Chaeyoung feels like she’s violating laws as she’s sure she’s about to enter the gates of heaven. X Academy is a famous dance studio, known to house the elite choreographers in South Korea. Jennie’s father owns the building itself, and on most days, Jennie acts as the academy’s manager and one of its top choreographers.</p><p>Those facts make her insides tremble. She takes a huge gulp, already contemplating the option of running away and just giving it all up. But that changes when she hears a familiar voice from behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you still out here?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung jumps a little from where she’s standing. Lisa just gives her a blank look as she opens the gates herself. She gets inside, not even looking back at Chaeyoung, who, by the way, lagged behind as she breathed in the earthy but slightly sweet scent of Lisa’s perfume. Judging by the way Lisa approached her that time, Chaeyoung tells herself that this Lisa is probably far from the Lisa she’s had dinner with last night. It’s not like she’s disappointed, she already expected this, to be honest. But it just adds more to the churning sensation inside her stomach as anxiety started to creep in.</p><p>Lisa, probably noticing that the girl is still by the gate of the academy, turns around and raises a brow at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”</p><p>“Doesn’t look like it.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung shakes her head as she takes one final deep breath before stepping in. as soon as she’s beside Lisa, the older woman speaks up again.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be okay.”</p><p>“I know—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, she stares at her and, well, Lisa wasn’t smiling and all but Chaeyoung’s thankful at the much softer gaze she’s giving her. Those brown eyes staring back at her own reminded her of the many glances they exchanged last night. Fuck, half of those glances were <em>surely </em>intentional, and half were just— the kind that were caught in the goddamn moment. And, God, did it make her feel things. Unbeknownst to her, Lisa <em>felt</em> those things as well.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung had to bite her lip a little to physically feel something and suppress the thoughts running inside her mind.</p><p> </p><p>And when she did that, Chaeyoung was so damn sure she saw Lisa’s eyes fall down on her lips, but she had second thoughts about it as Lisa was quick to revert her attention back to anywhere else but her soft, plump lips. Lisa clears her throat and walks ahead of Chaeyoung, not allowing another second go by with that little space between them.</p><p> </p><p>And boy, was the tension so unnerving.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>During the first two hours, Lisa and Jennie sat down with Chaeyoung and told her everything she needs to know about TSPA, from the “things” they usually look for in their prospects, to the nature of the training itself. Chaeyoung had to gulp from time to time, as it was slowly sinking in to her that in front of her are two survivors, two products of TSPA. And from what they have told her so far, getting accepted in the final audition is not a guarantee as to how long she could stay there. There were quarterly assessments, and they make connections with the biggest names in the industry even as trainees. For every 100 students that get accept, 70% of those are guaranteed to flunk, drop out, or be dropped by the school itself.</p><p>It was a fucking race, a big brother-esque but formalized type of training.</p><p>It wasn’t just a normal school; it was the goddamn coliseum. Where gladiators fought toe to toe, only this time, if she ever gets the chance to be accepted, she’ll fight tooth and nail against the best of the best performing arts majors.</p><p>She’s so fucking scared, but so fucking ready and up for the challenge.</p><p> </p><p>“Director Yang told me that the tentative schedule for the final auditions will be mid-November. It’s tentative, but it’s actually around that time of the year.”, Lisa says in a stern voice.</p><p> </p><p>The twisting feeling in Chaeyoung’s insides made her palm sweat, and as much as she tries to hide it, Jennie and Lisa see it. They don’t mention it though, they believe Chaeyoung has to tread her own way in this one, and that includes managing her emotions and getting above them at all times.</p><p> </p><p>Her training was starting already and Chaeyoung doesn’t really realize it yet.</p><p> </p><p>“That gives you around 8 weeks to train and prepare. What they ask for the auditions never change. One dance and one song performance, each a couple of minutes long. It doesn’t sound hard, but remember, you’re not the only one auditioning there. And with that many hopefuls, the deliberators get bored at some point. They need something breathtaking. Something that would catch their attention.”, Jennie tells her.</p><p> </p><p>She glances at Lisa and her mentor nods at her.</p><p> </p><p>“You got the A-list charm already. The vibe of a real performer is there. You just need to unleash it. That’s what I’m here for. To guide that potential.”</p><p> </p><p>In those five short sentences, Lisa complimented her and gave her assurances.</p><p> </p><p>Fucking girlfriend material, if Chaeyoung’s going to be honest. But she shakes those thoughts as the sense of appreciation overpowers everything else.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you… do you think I’ll make it?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung doesn’t know why but she felt the need to ask that question. Her eyes shift back and forth between Lisa and Jennie. Jennie knows better though. It was Lisa’s opinion that should matter most to the young girl as her mentor. She turns her body slightly to face Lisa and rests her head on her palm as she raises her brow.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re the one who should answer that, not me.”, Jennie says.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks intently into Chaeyoung’s eyes. No, this wasn’t meant to make the younger girl feel more nervous. Hell, Lisa knows Chaeyoung’s probably at the edge of her seat now because of anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>What’s taking her so long to answer is the fact that she’s looking for that spark in Chaeyoung’s eyes. And that spark, for Lisa, has to be the right mix of desperation and dream, of ambition and determination.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s there, burning red hot within.</p><p> </p><p>But just as she was about to say yes, a petite figure peeks through the slightly ajar door of the studio. The three of them both turn around when they hear a voice coming through.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, sorry it took me so long, I got stuck in traffic.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was slightly disappointed at the lack of response from her mentor, but that was easily washed off with a different kind of emotion when she realized who it was.</p><p> </p><p>It was Kim Taeyeon. Yes, Kim <em>fucking </em>Taeyeon of Girls’ Generation.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s jaw falls flat.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God.”, she breathes out.</p><p>“Hey, unnie.”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie was first to approach Taeyeon who entered the room in just a hoodie and dark jeans. She has a mask in her hand, which Chaeyoung figures she used to hide her face when outside. Anyhow, Jennie engulfs Taeyeon into a tight hug before breaking off. Chaeyoung felt a nudge on her shoulder as Lisa gestures for them to stand up.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, I’ll introduce you.”, Lisa says.</p><p>“Lalisa, hey, I haven’t seen you in so long.”</p><p>“Hello, unnie. How’ve you been?”</p><p> </p><p>The two hug together and Jennie pulls Chaeyoung closer to them.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you must be Park Chaeyoung.”, Taeyeon starts. She extends her hand for Chaeyoung to shake, but to her surprise, not only did Chaeyoung take it, the younger girl bowed down to a near 90 degree angle in front of her while holding her hand, almost like worshipping a queen.</p><p>“It’s really an honor to meet you.”, Chaeyoung says once she’s done.</p><p>“The pleasure is mine. Lisa sent your song covers to me and I only needed to watch one to say yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s eyes were bleeding invisible glitters and her ears were ringing with pride and joy. The Kim Taeyeon just praised her, and she’s about to be supervised by her.</p><p> </p><p>“Taeyeon unnie taught one class in TSPA for a short time and we bonded over some grocery-bought sake, in case you were wondering.”, Jennie says, earning laughter from the two.</p><p>“You seem surprised, did Lisa not tell you that I’ll be helping you out a little? “A little” because we don’t really need too much refining. You’re really good.”</p><p>“Oh, uh, Lisa seonsaengnim just labeled you anonymous, which was more terrifying for a trainee, to be honest.”</p><p> </p><p>Taeyeon and Jennie laugh again, and Lisa doesn’t. Instead, the Thai mentor was just staring at her with a small but proud smile on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I thought you hated surprises.”, Taeyeon says, turning to face Lisa. This knocks her off the gaze she’s giving Chaeyoung and she just shrugs in response.</p><p>“Some things have <em>changed</em>.”, Jennie answers on her behalf, but with a suggestive tone.</p><p>“Hmm, well, that’s interesting. Anyway, enough chitchat. I told Lisa here I’d love to hear you sing and that I’d take the first two hours because I have to be somewhere by 4:00 PM. I hope you don’t mind that?”</p><p>“No, absolutely not.”</p><p>“Okay, impress me, Chaeyoung-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, every pressure built up for weeks on her shoulder slowly felt like puzzle pieces. Scattered, but destined to fit.</p><p>And Chaeyoung’s so up for it.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Let the ashes fall, forget about me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on, let it go, just let it be</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why don’t you be you, and I’ll be me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ll be me</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung sang the last few lines of the song Let It Go by James Bay for the third time that afternoon. The first two times, Taeyeon pointed out the parts that she thought Chaeyoung could still improve, but there weren’t much actually. Taeyeon barely interrupted her at all because she was really that good, no kidding.</p><p> </p><p>While the two were training, Jennie and Lisa were sitting at the opposite end of the studio, discussing the videos they’ll show to Chaeyoung later. From time to time, however, Jennie would shake her head with a matching smirk on her lips whenever she caught Lisa spacing out a little to give her ears more room to hear Chaeyoung’s voice. Jennie doesn’t point it out, as she’s actually enjoying this refreshing sight she’s witnessing from Lisa. And there was nothing more Jennie Kim wanted to do that time than smack Lisa’s head for being so dense yet so whipped at the same time. How Lisa manages to let both personalities coexist is a damned question in Jennie’s head.</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t you answer her question earlier?”</p><p> </p><p>This knocks Lisa out of the mesmerizing trance Chaeyoung has put her in.</p><p> </p><p>“I was about to but Taeyeon beat me to it.”</p><p>“So, you really think she’ll make it?”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie already knew the answer before Lisa could say it. It was written in coherent letters all over Lisa’s face. It’s right there; etched in cursive but bold strokes inside her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Of cou—”</p><p>“Forget it. Don’t tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa gives her a confused look, and Jennie only points her pouted lips towards Chaeyoung, whose back was facing them.</p><p> </p><p>“You have to tell her, not me.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa hates Jennie’s guts most of the time. From the times when the older girl would tell her to have her cats up for adoption whenever she gets scratched, to the nosiness and annoyance she could never hide when Joohyun sends Lisa a message.</p><p> </p><p>She hates Jennie’s guts most of the time, but definitely not now.</p><p> </p><p>She smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“I will.”</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lisa dedicated the next three hours showing Chaeyoung several videos of previous iconic auditions with Jennie’s help. The point of this? It is for Chaeyoung to point out what she thinks were the unique or most memorable parts of every routine, as well as the parts she believes could’ve been improved. It was like a mind training for her, to get her creative juices flowing. That’s because Lisa wants Chaeyoung to come up with her own choreography for the audition. For Lisa, authenticity is a huge part of paying respect to performance arts. You don’t have to overdo it. Make it yours. Own it and you’ll end up respecting it. And she wants Chaeyoung to embody that.</p><p> </p><p>And also because she knows Chaeyoung’s capable enough to make it on her own. Hell, Lisa’s not even sure if Chaeyoung was really in need of her help. Nevertheless, she’d like to give whatever she can to guide the younger girl. For some reason, Lisa felt that sense of responsibility towards Chaeyoung’s ambition. It wasn’t exactly her space to occupy, but the fact that she could harness it has got Lisa’s veins pumping.</p><p> </p><p>Her dense self doesn’t let it sink in right away, of course. But for Lisa, that didn’t matter at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>It was a few minutes before seven when a visibly exhausted Chaeyoung stretched her legs out after the last video rolled. She excuses herself to go to the restroom while Lisa packs her things up. Jennie left thirty minutes ago and just told them to close the studio when they’re done. Said she was meeting up her parents for dinner.</p><p>Knowing Jennie, Lisa was only half-sure if that reason was actually true or if Jennie was trying to set them up to go home together. Either way, Lisa’s left with Chaeyoung and she guesses she has no choice.</p><p> </p><p>Not that she’s complaining, actually.</p><p> </p><p>“Shall we go?”, she asks.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung, still with a hint of fatigue, nods at her and in a few minutes, they were out walking the cold streets of Seoul.</p><p>It sure is much colder than last year’s September, Chaeyoung realizes. Good thing she has her coat on, and Lisa’s got her own, too. They mostly walk in silence as both were physically exhausted, but the lack of words exchanged between them didn’t seem to bother them at all.</p><p>Just like last night, when the silences in between felt more like pauses to their adrenaline-induced chests.</p><p> </p><p>For tonight, Chaeyoung was first to break it.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you in the mood for some burger?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks at her as they walk. It sure is a busy night in the weekend streets of Seoul. Chaeyoung points at the burger truck just a few meters ahead and that’s when Lisa finally got what she meant.</p><p> </p><p>“Jisoo told me their burgers are good. Shall we get some?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a little bit of silence from Lisa, and Chaeyoung starts to question if she was a little more confident with her approach tonight compared to last night, or if it’s even appropriate to ask her mentor that question.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure. I’m hungry, actually.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung silently thanks Lisa for that answer. Not only was she worried she stepped on <em>that </em>fine line, she was equally as hungry as Lisa. So hungry that she immediately ordered as soon as they arrived.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll have a jerk chicken burger and Sprite, please. Seonsaengnim, what do you want?”, Chaeyoung asks, a little too late to take back that formality slip. Lisa just shakes her head a little and smiles.</p><p>“I’ll have the same.”</p><p> </p><p>Just as Lisa was about to take out her wallet, Chaeyoung shakes her head and hands over some bills to the guy getting their order.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Hey—”</p><p>“I’ve occupied some of your weekend hours today, and I will for the next few weeks. It’s the least I can do.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa was 50:50 on this one. She 50% agreed and 50% disagreed.</p><p> </p><p>She agrees with Chaeyoung’s proposal to buy this dinner for the two of them. If it’s going to make Chaeyoung feel more comfortable, she’d give way.</p><p> </p><p>But Chaeyoung was wrong when she said she’s been occupying Lisa’s weekend hours. Wrong. Too wrong. Lisa hates to admit it, but she’s definitely caught herself getting randomly reminded of Chaeyoung. From her formality slips, to that certain time she called Lisa by her name without having to correct her for it. From her clumsiness and reserved tendencies, to her transition to a more comfortable and confident Chaeyoung when she’s dancing or singing. Lisa doesn’t even know when it started, probably during that time she was mean to Chaeyoung in class, or that time she felt like Chaeyoung was serenading her inside her dad’s restaurant.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know when, nor does she care about it.</p><p> </p><p>So yes, Chaeyoung’s wrong. Her taking Lisa’s time (and thoughts) stretches way before the weekend hours they were together.</p><p> </p><p>They get their orders in no time and the two walk side by side, each holding a burger in one hand and their soda can in another. They eat their food in silence, with occasional puffs of air from the soda’s burn. And for <em>some</em> reason, they both walk at a considerably slower pace than earlier. It was like every step was a death sentence they both wanted to run away from. And so, they take it slowly, just enough to extend their time together for a few more minutes. And they do it in comfortable silence, as no words were needed.</p><p> </p><p>When SNU was finally in sight and just some meters ahead, it was Lisa who finally broke the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“I was about to tell you ‘yes’ earlier, had Taeyeon not arrived in time.”, she says.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>A smile formed on Chaeyoung’s lips and Lisa didn’t need to look at her to know that.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you think I’ll make it?”</p><p>“As long as you work hard for it, which I think you will, then yes. Without a shadow of a doubt.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Without a shadow of a doubt</em>, these words echoed inside Chaeyoung’s head for more times than she originally intended.</p><p> </p><p>They finally stop in front of the main gate, and that’s when Chaeyoung turns to face her.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for today, Lisa.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles a little at the sound of her voice saying her name.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>They exchange a short stare-off before Lisa walks ahead of her. But before she could take three more steps away, Chaeyoung calls her out.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa!”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa stops, and her heart does the same. <em>Damn</em>, does her name sound so good when Chaeyoung says it loud and clear.</p><p> </p><p>She breathes in, replays the sound of her name through Chaeyoung’s voice in her head a couple times, and turns around.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”, she plays it cool, but a little more transparent this time.</p><p>“Good night.”, Chaeyoung says and smiles.</p><p> </p><p>She returns it without question.</p><p> </p><p>“Good night, Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, they both went to sleep that night without much tossing and turning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Lisa's got feelings written in cursive with strawberry blonde ink</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! I'm back with a weekly update for y'all lmao. i've been so busy lately and i haven't had time to write so much. also, I have not prepared a playlist for this update because of my loaded sched but i'll make up for it in the next update hehe.</p><p>that's all! i hope to post the next one by the following weekend. thank you for all the comments and kudos guys! please keep them coming! they keep me inspired and help me in keeping track of this story lol hahaha. </p><p>i hope you enjoy this update. let me know what you think about it!</p><p>P.S: when should i let Joohyun enter the scene... hmm... seems too soon for it, but we'll see! haha ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“YOU’RE TRAINING AT X ACADEMY?!?!”</p><p>“JISOO!”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung had to kick Jisoo’s legs under the table as she noticed the strange looks they’re getting from other students. They were inside a busy coffee shop just across SNU and were supposed to work on a paper in a class she’s also sharing with both Seulgi and Jisoo. Seulgi had to pull Jisoo back to her seat as the emotions surged in her best friend’s face, well, all out of excitement and a little hint of betrayal.</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell us?! AND KIM TAEYEON? KIM TAEYEON OF GIRLS’ GENERATION?????”, Jisoo says this time in a much lower voice.</p><p>“I was shocked, too!”</p><p>“And it took you one week to tell us?”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, to give you all some sort of context, it’s Wednesday of the following week. Two weeks into September and a few days after her first ever practice session with Lisa and Taeyeon. In the days that followed the first session, Chaeyoung was not able to tell Jisoo and Seulgi about how the whole thing went down. In her defense, it was still overwhelming for her as she could not believe that she’d be working with A-listers in the next few weeks in preparation for the audition. Hence, the reaction from Jisoo and Seulgi, who she decided to tell just now.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about this jerk here. She’s just dumb.”, Seulgi says, ruffling Jisoo’s hair in the process.</p><p>“I’m sorry guys, it was hard for me to process either.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, too. It’s just that—”</p><p>“It’s just that Jisoo has a stupid crush on Kim Jennie, is all.”</p><p> </p><p>Seulgi spitting out facts earned her a glare from Jisoo. Chaeyoung could only laugh. How lucky is she to get to train with not just one but three talented ladies?</p><p> </p><p>“You should come by sometimes, then. I’ll introduce you.”, Chaeyoung mumbles.</p><p>“God, that woman, ugh. Is she prettier in person? I bet she is, my God.”</p><p> </p><p>Another chorus of laughter escapes Chaeyoung and Seulgi, causing Jisoo to blush.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, she is <em>way</em> hotter and prettier in person. She’s actually nice, too. Taeyeon is also really cool and friendly and, <em>dude</em>, the voice.”</p><p>“Well, shit, no need to flex on us.”, Seulgi counters, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“If you put it that way, you know you’re a lucky bitch, right?”, Jisoo adds.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was about to laugh again but didn’t when she saw the tall figure coming from behind her two friends. She didn’t even notice how she unconsciously ran her tongue over her bottom lip, or the fact that her palms were getting sweaty at the sight of the woman.</p><p> </p><p>It was Lisa, of course.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa poised a rather casual look for the day. She was wearing a printed white t-shirt with Elton John’s face on it. She tucked it in her charcoal skater jeans and finished her look with white sneakers. She also had her hair tied up in a slightly messy bun, and Chaeyoung couldn’t help but notice how her white shirt perfectly complimented her jet black hair. Lisa has her backpack sling hung on her left shoulder, with a cup of coffee in her right hand.</p><p> </p><p>Basically, she looked perfect. She was wearing a goddamn white t-shirt and she still looked perfect.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung had to gulp.</p><p> </p><p>It was then that Lisa noticed the presence of the younger girl. She raised her coffee a little in recognition. The shy smile that formed on Chaeyoung’s face caused the other two girls from across her to look back, and they were just as stunned at what they saw.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa-ssi—”</p><p>“Lisa seonsaengnim—”</p><p>“Seonsaengnim—”</p><p> </p><p>Wanna guess which one was Chaeyoung? Meh, doesn’t matter.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa gave them a tight-lipped smile as she stopped just beside Jisoo.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning. Got no class?”, Lisa asks them, trying to ignore the fact that Chaeyoung looked stunning in a casual, black and white polka-dotted dress. She instead looks at Seulgi who immediately blushed.</p><p> </p><p>Hey, no harm there. it’s not every day that Lisa Manoban looks at you in a non-judgmental way, let alone see her outside class.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, no. We just got out of lecture, actually.”, Seulgi answers.</p><p> </p><p>With no time for chitchat or whatever, Lisa just nods at them and hums in response. She takes one final look at Chaeyoung before leaving, and she had to remind herself that her stares shouldn’t linger.</p><p> </p><p>But it did.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa only looks away when Chaeyoung’s eyes falls down at the sight of her lips, and damn, did she wish they were alone there.</p><p> </p><p><em>No, don’t. it’s not appropriate, </em>she tells herself.</p><p> </p><p>She was just about to leave but was blocked off on her way when two guys came up towards the table.</p><p> </p><p>And boy, did she not like the fact that one of the guys has his hand resting on Chaeyoung’s chair.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, guys.”, the taller of the two greeted.</p><p>“Namjoon, Jimin.”, Seulgi greets in return.</p><p>“Listen, we’re going to host a party at Bobby’s tonight. Are you guys in?”, Jimin says. And oh, he was the one with his hand on Chaeyoung’s seat.</p><p>“Maybe you can bring your friend here?”</p><p> </p><p>To Lisa’s surprise, Namjoon turns to face her, all with a quirky smile on his face. She just stares at him, not returning the smile at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, that’s actually our instructor, Joon.”, this time, it was Chaeyoung who answers.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was internally cursing Namjoon in her head with that question he just blurted. For once in a very long time, she actually forgot her reputation as Party Girl Chae, thanks to the preoccupying thoughts she had courtesy of the audition and of course, Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>That information immediately erases the smile on Namjoon’s face and he and Jimin were quick to bow in front of Lisa.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hah, the fucking queen that she is</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”</p><p>“It’s okay.”, Lisa cuts him off.</p><p> </p><p>Before any awkward silence or uncalled tension could blanket the atmosphere, Chaeyoung speaks up once and for all.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be there, guys.”</p><p>“Okay, then. We’ll see you guys there.”, Jimin says before patting Chaeyoung’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>The two boys bow down again in front of Lisa before storming out of the café. Before Chaeyoung could apologize on behalf of them, she was stopped on her tracks when she noticed the seemingly annoyed look on Lisa’s face. It wasn’t just her who noticed it, by the way. As soon as Seulgi picks up on the situation, sensing that Chaeyoung was bothered and may not be able to speak up soon, she takes it upon herself.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re sorry about that, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa seemed to be a little shaken up, but she quickly gathers herself and just nods at the three women before walking out of the café. Lisa didn’t even notice the tight grip she had on the paper cup she was holding. There was enough force to it to actually dent the coffee sleeve.</p><p> </p><p><em>“We’ll be there, guys</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s last words to those boys and Jimin patting the younger girl’s shoulders replayed many times in her head as she walked towards the entrance of SNU. She mentally slaps herself, reminding her consciousness that Chaeyoung is a college student, and of course, an active participant to the social side of it. It’s only fair, Lisa thinks, as she also had her fair share of appearances in college parties way back. And so, she wonders why she seemed so bothered by it.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it wasn’t the fact that Chaeyoung will be in a party in a few hours. Maybe it’s the hand that came in contact with Chaeyoung’s shoulder a while ago. Or the fact that those hands may hold her close in the dancefloor a few hours from now.</p><p> </p><p><em>Bullshit, why do you care?</em>, Lisa thinks to herself.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs, realizing she might need to constantly repeat that inside her mind for the rest of the day.</p><p> </p><p>Back to Chaeyoung and her friends, Jisoo shoots the blonde with a curious look the moment Lisa storms out of the café.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that seemed a little… hostile.”, she says.</p><p>“Namjoon basically treated her like another student, how was she supposed to react to that?”, Seulgi asks the girl beside her.</p><p>“Hey, Chaeng, you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Unbeknownst to them, Chaeyoung’s mind was running after Lisa the moment she stepped away from them. She refuses to know why she felt that way, but something felt… odd and off with how Lisa’s mood changed in those few minutes they interacted with Namjoon and Jimin. She looked… furious? Or maybe bothered, to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>Jisoo had to snap her fingers in front of Chaeyoung for the girl to revert back to reality.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”</p><p>“Jisoo here was asking if you have the hots for Lisa.”, Seulgi says, snorting.</p><p> </p><p>Both Jisoo and Chaeyoung stare at her with confused looks on their faces.</p><p> </p><p>“What? I did not ask that. I just said she looked really hot with her hair tied up.”</p><p>“Oh, right. Sorry.”, Seulgi corrects.</p><p> </p><p>But Chaeyoung couldn’t help but see the incredulous look she’s getting from Seulgi. The said girl just shrugs back at Chaeyoung, but the blonde was sure as hell that that look on her face was supposed to suggest something.</p><p> </p><p>Like Seulgi knows something about her and Lisa that she’s not supposed to know.</p><p> </p><p>Too bad Chaeyoung’s too slow to pick up on whatever the hell that <em>something </em>is.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>It was almost 10 in the evening, and Lisa and Jennie had just arrived at Marco’s for some late dinner. For more context, Jennie had to drag Lisa’s whiny ass out of her apartment. They’ve been “hanging out” at Lisa’s place since six, and the Thai girl was either too quiet or too grumpy to be up for anything. Jennie didn’t ask her why, as she had her speculations already. Anyhow, not wanting her best friend to starve, Jennie called Marco for a very late dinner reservation. Hence their very late appearance at the restaurant.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they walked, the two women noticed a saxophonist playing at the bar, instead of the usual presence of Park Chaeyoung. <em>Right</em>, Lisa thought. How could the younger girl be there if she were out partying at Bobby’s.</p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung’s not playing tonight?”, Jennie asked.</p><p>“No, she said she was going out with some friends and would just make up for it on Monday instead.”</p><p> </p><p>That was Marco, by the way, who personally served out the dishes he prepared for the two.</p><p> </p><p>“Right.”, was all Lisa could say, earning brow-furrowing looks from Jennie across her.</p><p> </p><p><em>At least she’s honest with her reason</em>, she says to herself in her mind. Again, Lisa refuses to let the feeling sink in so she could get to the bottom of why she’s acting this way. So much for being stubborn. Chaeyoung is a young woman who is probably single and could go to any party she wants, and dance with whoever the hell she wants, anyway.</p><p> </p><p><em>Yes, tell that to yourself</em>, she adds, still in her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Herb crusted lamb chops with some Dom Perignon to wash it down.”, Marco says with a smile.</p><p>“Thanks, Marco.”</p><p>“Nah, I should be the one thanking you for dragging her here to have dinner.”</p><p>“I can literally hear you, Dad.”</p><p> </p><p>Marco laughs and shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Jennie here told me you were being grumpy. I hope some good food could help ease that out.”</p><p>“That’s why we’re here.”, Jennie adds, her eyes twinkling as she smiles at Lisa’s old man.</p><p>“Why are you so grumpy anyway?”, Marco asks.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa sighs at her seat and starts cutting the lamb chop on her plate. Though looking down at her food, she could feel the piercing stare coming from Jennie, and she’s oh so ready to get judged and assessed at that point.</p><p> </p><p>“It was just a bad day, Dad.”</p><p>“Huh, too bad Chaeyoung’s not here to serenade the two of you. You seemed to be really at ease with her when you two had dinner here last time.”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie chokes a little on the champagne she’s trying to drink. Two questions were running in her mind that time: first, why were Lisa and Chaeyoung having dinner together; and second, how did she not know about this.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa still refuses to look up. She knows Jennie’s probably about to pounce on her with questions, like a lion does to its prey.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, I’ll let you be, ladies. If you need anything, I’ll be at the kitchen. Have a good one.”</p><p> </p><p>Marco kisses the top of Lisa’s head (who’s still looking down while chewing, my God, what a kid) before moving back to the kitchen. Lisa gave it five seconds. One. Two. Three. Four.</p><p> </p><p>And five.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you and Chaeyoung had dinner here last time?”</p><p> </p><p>She hates the fact that she knows Jennie like the back of her hand. And she also hates that Jennie knows her just as much.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Well, that’s progress.”</p><p>“We discussed what to do with her training for the next few weeks. It’s not like what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“Why? What was I thinking, Lalisa?”</p><p> </p><p>This time, Lisa puts down her fork and knife and looks up at Jennie. Jennie has her eyebrow raised a little, and Lisa could only sigh. There’s no way she’s getting away from this conversation without Jennie getting her “clarity”.</p><p> </p><p>“This bad day you’re having, it has something to do with her, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Where are you getting this informati—”</p><p>“You and your facial expressions are like textbook grade for me, Lis. You should know better than that.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa rolls her eyes and goes back to eating. It was only then that she realized how hungry she was. On the other hand, Jennie didn’t press more on what she said. Instead, she also started eating her food and would just glance from time to time at the silent figure named Lisa in front of her.</p><p>Jennie couldn’t stand that kind of silence, and so, she went online on Instagram and started looking at Instagram stories of her mutuals.</p><p> </p><p>In what would be a turn of fate, that’s always against Lisa’s favor in such instances, Jennie comes across Bobby’s IG story. Yes, it’s the same Bobby who owns the bar where Chaeyoung and her friends are currently at. On his story is a picture of him, another guy, and three girls smiling at the camera with red cups in their hand.</p><p> </p><p>Jennie snorts when she realizes one of the girls was Chaeyoung. The other guy in the picture has his arm hung over Chaeyoung’s shoulder, in a fairly friendly manner in Jennie’s opinion.</p><p> </p><p>Curious as to whether she’s right though, Jennie slides her phone over to Lisa. Lisa stops chewing on her food as she stares at the screen. Of all the people barely fitting in the screen, her eyes landed first on the familiar shade of strawberry blonde hair…. And of course, the guy with his arm on her shoulder. It was Chaeyoung and Jimin.</p><p> </p><p>Jennie couldn’t help but shake her head when Lisa’s grip on her knife and fork became tighter.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s at Bobby’s, eh?”, Jennie asks.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just shrugs as she gets back to slicing her lamb chop, this time with a little more force.</p><p> </p><p>“Lisa, that poor lamb’s dead, stop stabbing it out of jealousy. You’re being rude.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks up at her the moment the word “jealousy” came between the air she’s currently sharing with Kim Jennie.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Oh, my God. You’re really jealous of that post-puberty college guy with Chaeyoung?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Honey, stop it. The repetitive whats are a total turn-off.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa grunts in her seat as she lets go of what she was holding.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not jealous, okay?”</p><p>“Debatable, but okay.”, Jennie deadpans.</p><p>“Seriously, Jen, what are you trying to do here?”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie’s had enough of it.</p><p> </p><p>“Lalisa Manoban, you’re 23 years old but your coping mechanism is worse than that of a middle-schooler.”</p><p>“What are you trying to say?”</p><p>“You like the woman, Lis. It’s written in cursive with strawberry blonde ink all over your face. You like her and you’re clearly jealous.”</p><p>“I don’t and I’m not.”, Lisa says as she sighs in exasperation.</p><p>“What’s so wrong if you like her? You’re like, what, a little over a year older than her?”</p><p>“She’s literally my student, Je—”</p><p>“It’s 2020, Lisa. She’s graduating in a few months and if you’re both consenting adults anyway, no one’s gonna sue you.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa backs away from the table and leans her body against her seat. Jennie does the same, but the eyes of the older girl never left her while doing so. God, does she hate that look. If Jennie Kim ever decides to be a lawyer, no one would dare lie to that face. And that is exactly what’s happening to Lisa. She was like a transparent, breathing diary to Jennie and she could never ever keep a single entry from her.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not right, Jen. I’m her mentor. And it’s not worth the risk anyway.”</p><p>“You haven’t even tried it yet.”</p><p>“I don’t even know if she’s into women. And it’s really inappro—”</p><p>“What, you think she’s straight? Bold of you to assume that.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa doesn’t answer. All she wants to do now is run the hell out of the restaurant and sulk in the comfort of her bed with her four cats.</p><p> </p><p>Jennie, sensing the radiating fear and confusion from her best friend, leans over the table and stares at her intently.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not forcing you to do anything, Lisa. But for once, be honest with yourself. You’ve been running away from feelings for so long. Ever since Joohyun hurt you, you’ve never let yourself be at ease—”</p><p>“This has nothing to do with Bae Joohyun.”</p><p>“Again, be honest with yourself.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“If it’s a stupid crush, then okay, to hell with it. You know what to do with that. If it’s real feelings, you should also know what to do with that. You’re both grownups.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa spews out some air that slightly ruffles her bangs. She hates that Jennie’s making sense. Everything she said made a lot of sense. And there’s nothing more that Lisa fears than verbal confirmation of what she’s feeling.</p><p> </p><p>“And believe me, from a third-person perspective? She likes you, too.”</p><p> </p><p>That made Lisa blush, and that’s finally the time that a warm, contented smile escaped Jennie’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>The thought of Chaeyoung liking her made her insides buzz in a rhythm she could not fully comprehend.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to do anything about it now. That’s not the point, Lisa, and I know you know that. Just— just be honest. At least with yourself.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“And you’re welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa finally looks at her and returns Jennie’s smile. She may not say it completely yet, or fully accept it within herself, but her body’s reaction to the thought of having something with Chaeyoung was surely an undeniable indication of attraction to Lisa.</p><p>It’s not a compact feeling but— it’s there. It’s messy but it seems to make sense.</p><p>And that worries her, to be honest. She’s going to be physically so close to Chaeyoung in the coming weeks, and the effect of that itching need for proximity terrifies the hell out of her.</p><p>In both worrying and calming ways.</p><p> </p><p>Boy, does she have another thing to think about this time.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Three hours later and it’s past one in the morning. Lisa was still awake, 80 percent because of the series she’s bingewatching, and 20 percent because of underlying, subconscious thoughts about her conversation with Jennie earlier.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, it’s the other way around.</p><p> </p><p>She was already lying down on her bed and was about to turn off her bedside lamp when her phone buzzed. Lisa gulps, as a familiar anxious feeling washes over her. It’s the same kind of feeling she gets when Joohyun buzzes her phone with a text message.</p><p> </p><p>But she was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>It was an Instagram notification.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>roses_are_rosie started following you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her heart skipped a beat. It was Chaeyoung’s Instagram account. How did she know? That’s not important.</p><p> </p><p>Another buzz.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: Lisa?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung sent her a DM. Lisa gulps, contemplating whether to reply or not.</p><p> </p><p>Another buzz.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: nevermind, I shouldn’t have followed you. I’m unfollowing now, I’m sorry. Good night.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She slides her phone open and starts typing her reply before the other girl could sign off.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: too late, don’t unfollow now</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She waits a few seconds as she sees that Chaeyoung is typing her reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: I hope this isn’t creeping u out. Just saw ur IG, is all</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: it’s ok</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: what’s with the dm?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: idk, tbh. Just felt like doing it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her heart skips another beat, the space it jumped a little wider this time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: that’s alright</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: I’m completely sober, btw, this is not ur typical drunk chat or whatever</em>
</p><p> </p><p>A small smile forms on her lips and she had to bite it back to stop it from getting bigger. Chaeyoung has her way with her and Lisa felt too naïve to even dodge it that time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: ok, hope u enjoyed and got back safely</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: I did, thanks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: ok then, u should get some sleep now, Chaeyoung</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: I’ll see you tomorrow.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As much as Lisa wanted to extend the conversation, she still feels like she shouldn’t move too fast, regardless of how wild the fluttering inside have gotten in the last few minutes. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: Lisa</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa shuts her eyes close after reading that. She had to, as she was sure she could hear Chaeyoung’s voice saying her name and it’s one of the most addictive things she’s ever heard of.</p><p> </p><p>Funny how she gets this way with a goddamn DM.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: yeah?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was typing, and then it disappeared. Almost a minute passed, and Lisa was about to assume that the younger girl probably fell asleep when her phone buzzed again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: nevermind</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: good night, Lisa</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She recites the last message in her head with Chaeyoung’s voice. And it felt right. Funny how it felt liberating and terrifying at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>But she decides to let it go for now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: good night, Chaeyoung</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She immediately closes her phone and rests it on the bedside table. She takes one last look at the ceiling, still replaying the voice of Chaeyoung in her head. It was like a forbidden lullaby that only she could hear.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing to me, Chae?”, she mumbles to herself before closing her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Little did she know, on the other side of the phone, Chaeyoung was also lying in her bed, half-intoxicated but still completely aware of what just went down. She was biting her lips as she placed a hand on her chest in an attempt to stop the irregular fluttering she’s now associated to Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung doesn’t know why she did that. Why she sent a goddamn DM at one in the morning to her mentor, who, by the way, she’s about to see again in some hours.</p><p> </p><p>It felt like she allowed herself to step into something she could never get away from.</p><p> </p><p>It’s like when your parents forbid you from cliff-diving, but you do it anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Because it’s terrifying and you’re in for it.</p><p> </p><p>Because it’s unwarranted but freeing.</p><p> </p><p>Stopping it was like wishful thinking for Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p>She knew she was in a free fall, and boy, does she hope Lisa would be there at the end of it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. her heart does somersaults under post-summer skies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(a/n: hi guys! here's the 8th chapter of Heart Out. I apologize for the delay. To make up for it (and also a way to thank y'all because Heart Out has more than 1K views now huhu), treat this as a special fluff chapter. Also, I'm posting this now as I don't know when I'll be updating next. I am so busy with work and I could barely insert a few mins to write every day huhu. Even so, I hope you'll all look forward for the next chapter! consider it as, uh, turning point (?) for some characters here? hihihaha. you'll see.</p><p>anyway, y'all can follow me on twitter, my uname is @hedalalisa . I regularly post updates about the story there lmao.</p><p>I hope you'll enjoy this one. Thanks for the encouraging comments and votes! please keep them coming! hahahaha. ciao~)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 8 (Special fluff chapter)</p><p> </p><p>The weekend came by fast for Chaeyoung. To her surprise, in the three days she’s encountered Lisa, things had been… smooth, to say the least. Never once was the DM ever brought up, and well, Lisa was just as equally intimidating in the practice sessions as she was in their modern class.</p><p> </p><p>And Chaeyoung was somehow… getting used to it.</p><p> </p><p>The older girl was actually consistently polite and kind in the hours outside of class or trainings. It’s like Lisa has these two personas living within her, and it’s a little confusing, intimidating, but exciting all at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>If there’s one thing that Chaeyoung may have noticed in that one week that passed, it’s probably that Lisa seemed a little more shy in interacting with her. And that she and Jennie would share caught-up looks with one another in those moments they thought Chaeyoung wasn’t looking. Like they were telepathically communicating something.</p><p> </p><p>Nevertheless, it wasn’t bad at all.</p><p> </p><p><em>Really not bad</em>, Chaeyoung thought. She was loving this experience so far. <em>Loving</em>. It was like discovering a place that feels so much like home but is also too foreign at the same time. If that doesn’t make sense at all, well, that’s exactly what Chaeyoung feels now. She wants to know Lisa more, but like anyone who’s treading unchartered territories, it could backfire. And Chaeyoung doesn’t know what that could mean to her.</p><p> </p><p>She was in too deep in her thoughts while walking around the park a few blocks away from SNU when she suddenly bumped into someone.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, it’s Chaeyoung, she always bumps into awkward situations and people.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry— <em>oh.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>She suddenly ran out of words when she saw the widened brown doe-eyes in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>It was Lisa, just because fate wants it that way. For her to always bump into this person, it’s as if Lisa swimming in her thoughts from time to time wasn’t enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.”, Lisa greeted back.</p><p> </p><p>It was six in the afternoon and the sun is still slightly up crisping the cold, just enough to glow that shade of orange on Lisa’s exposed face.</p><p> </p><p>A wave of awkward silence envelopes them. This is weird for Chaeyoung, and equally as weird for Lisa, as the two always have these moments where one wave of silence is deafening while there also ones that spell out perfect.</p><p> </p><p>And this is a deafening one, by the way.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re clumsy.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa had to bite back her tongue after saying that. Of all things she could’ve pointed out first, she chose to call Chaeyoung clumsy. A hint of pink rushes over the younger girl’s cheeks as she ducks down her head a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Another half-minute of silence wraps up the air between them, but it was much more relaxed than the first one. Maybe that bad line from Lisa wasn’t so bad at all.</p><p>It’s always like this. Just like the unspoken thing between them, everything comes in surges. Never steady, but never too rough to push any of them to run away.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was just staring at Lisa when she noticed the DSLR camera attached to a strap hung over her left shoulder. Lisa follows her gaze and smiles a little as she holds out the camera she’s carrying.</p><p> </p><p>“I was walking around, just looking for things to photograph.”</p><p>“That’s nice, mind if I take a look?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure.”</p><p> </p><p>She hands over the camera to Chaeyoung. Lucky for them, there were two swings just a few feet away, and Lisa follows just behind Chaeyoung as they sat on each swing in that park. Chaeyoung fumbles with the buttons and Lisa doesn’t miss how her eyes sparkled and how her mouth formed an “<em>oh”</em> while scrolling over the pictures. Her hold on the swing tightens when Chaeyoung suddenly looks up at her, her eyes beaming with excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“You <em>took</em> these???”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Oh, my God. These are really good!”</p><p>“They’re not that bad.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa shyly offers a smile as she breathes in the cold air around them. She couldn’t help but think how Chaeyoung manages to stay out in the cold with her hoodie tied around her waist instead of it being around her body. She bites back the urge to point it out though.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, Lisa, these are good. Did you have professional training?”</p><p> </p><p>There it goes again, the same wide leap her heart makes every time Chaeyoung says her name, all without the need to remind her to drop the formalities.</p><p> </p><p>It just sounds so good, like her name was meant for Chaeyoung to say again and again and again.</p><p> </p><p>“No, but I was always interested in photography since I was kid. There are YouTube tutorials, too. They’re quite handy.”</p><p> </p><p>The younger girl chuckles as she hands back the camera to Lisa. The cold tips of their fingers touch and there felt like a static current running in between. It didn’t sting like they say in the movies though, as Chaeyoung was sure Lisa let that touch linger for a few more seconds than needed.</p><p> </p><p>“You could’ve passed for a career in photography.”</p><p>“Hmm, okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung snorts at Lisa’s lack of ability to take compliments. Lisa was generally timid, but Chaeyoung couldn’t help but think she must be something more than this reserved, intimidating person. There were signs of that already, in the few weeks she’s known her. Lisa seems to be in her most comfortable state when Jennie is around. She could eat a lot, probably just as much as Chaeyoung. She also talks more when she’s comfortable. And she could be shy, at least that’s what Chaeyoung noticed when they’re together. Most of the time, Lisa’s wrapped in a silent but confident bubble of her own, and rarely talks so much.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a combination of contrasts, and that’s so <em>fucking</em> interesting.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I take a picture of you?”</p><p> </p><p>That’s the confident Lisa speaking, by the way.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung turns to face her, her mouth slightly parted in surprise. Lisa picks up the reaction and decides to add more allowance to her sentence.</p><p> </p><p>“Only if it’s okay with you, of course.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung blinks twice. <em>Try harder, </em>she tells herself.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean— yeah. Yeah, sure.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa raises her camera to her face and squints as she pushes the shutter three times. Chaeyoung looked perfect, her sharp features and strawberry blonde hair perfectly complimenting the remaining rays of light hitting her. She also moves the swing she’s sitting on a little, and Lisa continues to take pictures of her just smiling widely like a kid who just experienced her first walk at the park.</p><p>It was genuine and pure, and Lisa could never ask for a better muse.</p><p> </p><p>“Gorgeous.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s smile retreats a little as she stares at Lisa with slightly widened eyes. Lisa just bit back her lip with that compliment slip, but she doesn’t regret it at all.</p><p> </p><p>It was true anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa stops after three more shots and puts down her camera. Chaeyoung was just looking at her with what possibly is the softest smile she’s ever seen from the girl. Little did she know, her own lips were curving up to return it.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for letting me take your pictures.”</p><p>“Can I see them?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just nods and hands over her camera to Chaeyoung. She stands in front of the young girl who was still sitting down on the swing, excitedly maneuvering the camera.</p><p> </p><p>“I really like these.”</p><p>“Thanks. If you want to, I can send them to your Instagram.”</p><p> </p><p>Well.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s mind rushes over to the memories of that night. When she oh-so-bravely sent a DM to Lisa at one in the morning without any apparent reason.</p><p> </p><p>She just nods and hands back the camera to Lisa. On the other hand, Lisa didn’t even notice the implications of her words. To her, she didn’t want to overthink what happened that night. For all she knows, Chaeyoung must have forgotten about it. If only she knew that Chaeyoung didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. Those photos were really good.”</p><p>“It’s the subject, sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa looks down a little as she felt a rush of warmth go up to her face with that mini confession. It’s nothing much, it was just a compliment anyway.</p><p> </p><p>But it’s Park Chaeyoung and of course, it means something.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh— I’m pretty sure it’s about the one holding the camera.”, Chaeyoung says, dodging the compliment.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa gathers a little more strength as she looks at Chaeyoung’s flustered face.</p><p> </p><p>“I beg to differ.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, the two knew that if one of them dodges the compliment coming from the other, it would just go on and on and on.</p><p> </p><p>Because that’s what they truly felt at the moment. Like they could barely run out of things to say about the other. It was like looking into a 500-page novel but instead of a gibberish, slow-burn plot, it’s about Chaeyoung. It’s about Lisa. About everything in between.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s odd, given the short amount of time they’ve known each other.  </p><p> </p><p>But it didn’t matter. Instead, the two settled with an exchange of warm smiles, making up for the escaping warmth of the dying sun around them.</p><p> </p><p>They only broke off their staring contest when Chaeyoung felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Lisa goes on to scan over the pictures she just took as Chaeyoung reads the message got.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn, I didn’t even notice it’s almost seven already.”</p><p>“Oh—”</p><p>“Seonsae— I’m sorry. Lisa. Uhm, Marco texted me, asking if I’m going to play tonight. So, uh, I actually need to go.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung gives her a sheepish smile and Lisa just nods her head in return. To be honest, half her brain was processing the fact that her dad has Chaeyoung’s number and she doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Oh well.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m actually planning to go there to have free dinner.”, Lisa says with an expectant tone.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t lying to spend time with Chaeyoung, by the way. She really was hungry and was craving some comforting food made by her Dad. And also, if it means having to spend a little more time with Chaeyoung, Lisa wouldn’t mind hitting two birds with one stone at that point.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right. That’s great, then.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Great</em>, because in Chaeyoung’s case, she’d be hitting not just two but three birds with one stone. She’s going to have free dinner (because Marco insists that she’s not supposed to pay for food in the restaurant), she’ll get to work for the night, and she’ll get to have more minutes, or maybe, hours to spend with Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>If only these two knew they were both hoping for the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you bring your car?”, Lisa asks.</p><p>“Uh, no. I was supposed to come back to my dorm but then I don’t have much time so…”</p><p>“Oh, sorry for keeping you too long, then.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay. It was kind of fun, to be honest.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Pft, right, Chaeyoung</em>, the blonde tells herself. Lisa offers that they go to Marco’s in the older girl’s car and Chaeyoung just agrees to it. Make it four birds now: she gets to have a free car ride to work. Hah, how lucky can she get.</p><p> </p><p>The short car ride to Marco’s was mostly silent, only filled in between with the soft music playing through Lisa’s car’s stereo. It didn’t take long for them to arrive to their destination. As soon as Chaeyoung steps out of the car, she immediately wears her bomber jacket that made her look a little more acceptable for the slightly formal atmosphere of the restaurant. She usually wears something more proper, like probably a polo or even a dress when she plays at Marco’s. but with no time to spare before her worktime, she thought that it wouldn’t do any harm to look a little more casual for the night.</p><p>Lisa was just eyeing her as she put on her jacket, seemingly noting the slim fit of Chaeyoung’s body. She forcefully blocks certain thoughts such as “<em>What would it feel like to have my arm around her waist?</em>” from lingering in her head with that sight in front of her. After successfully doing so, she opens the door for Chaeyoung to come in, and the blonde smiles shyly to thank her.</p><p>And it hits right there again. That soft mix of strawberry and roses that envelops Chaeyoung’s scent. It was pleasant and nostalgic and almost made of angel tears.</p><p>It was sickeningly sweet.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa could only sigh as she knew she’s probably in too deep.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>It was past 9 PM, and Lisa and Chaeyoung have been there for more than 2 hours. Chaeyoung performed several songs, engaging the diners from time to time and took mini breaks in between. While doing so, Lisa was just there in a table almost across from where she performs, and Lisa was just watching her the whole time. Chaeyoung could not help but notice the blush on Lisa’s cheeks, or the sudden upturn of her lips every time their eyes meet. Chaeyoung could only wish she weren’t as red as a tomato whenever it happens, but she gracefully fails every single time.</p><p>They haven’t had dinner yet, as Lisa insisted earlier that they have it together, unaware of the effect that suggestion had on Chaeyoung. She would just sit there, sometimes munching on focaccia or sipping a little of wine, cautiously watching her intake to make sure she wouldn’t get lightheaded or whatever. And also, to avoid haziness as she wants to always have that clear vision of the woman performing in front of her.</p><p>Pft, it’s always the small things, isn’t it?</p><p> </p><p>Now, Chaeyoung steps off the mini platform in front and sits across Lisa. The other girl smiles at her as she pours wine into Chaeyoung’s glass, sliding it in front of her afterwards.</p><p> </p><p>“You sing really well.”, Lisa compliments her.</p><p>“Oh, uh, it wasn’t too long ago when you told me I “wasn’t so bad” myself.”</p><p> </p><p>That made Lisa blush, remembering the “reserved” compliment she gave Chaeyoung when she, Jennie, and the blonde had dinner a few weeks ago. She just shrugs at Chaeyoung as one male server started putting food on their table. Like an expected sequence, the two girls both look at the kitchen door slightly visible their way and wave at Marco, who waves back at them.</p><p> </p><p>“Tournedo Rossini with wine sauce for two, courtesy of Chef Marco.”</p><p> </p><p>The two thank the server and proceeded to cut on the slice of steak in front of them, the feeling of hunger slowly sinking in. Chaeyoung couldn’t stop herself from making a satisfied grunt as she closes her eyes while chewing.</p><p> </p><p>“That good?”, Lisa asks, shaking her head while smiling at the girl so immersed in her food.</p><p>“If I could marry your dad’s cooking, I would.”</p><p>“Well, you can—"</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung looks up at her that time and Lisa was quick to stop herself from saying what she was about to say. She mentally slaps herself at that almost-spill. That was too bold and inappropriate, and she doesn’t want things to be awkward between her and Chaeyoung because of some stupid comment. Not when she and Chaeyoung are growing comfortable with one another.</p><p> </p><p>Thanking the gods above, Chaeyoung’s phone on top of the table suddenly beeped. It was an email notification, and she quickly opened it when she realized it was Director Yang.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just eyes the girl as she read the message, her eyes shifting emotions from slightly worried to excited, and vice versa.</p><p> </p><p>“You good?”, Lisa asks this time.</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. It’s Director Yang.”</p><p>“Oh, what did he say?”</p><p>“He, uh, he wants me to perform at the SKY ball next Wednesday.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa stops eating and looks up at her after hearing the news, and that reaction slightly worries Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll be at the SKY Ball?”</p><p> </p><p>For context, the SKY Ball is a gathering of selected performing arts students and representatives from the three elite universities in South Korea: Seoul National University, Korea University, and Yonsei University, hence the acronym. Well-known guests such as international performers come by from time to time, too. Another purpose the SKY Ball serves is for the representatives to “sell” or endorse their selected students to attendees coming from international schools.</p><p>And in Chaeyoung’s situation, Director Yang’s desire to bring her there means that a TSPA representative is probably showing up.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung gulps at that realization, and Lisa was quick to notice the fear showering all over her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?”, she asks.</p><p>“Oh—uhm, nothing. It’s just that, uh, I didn’t really expect that.”</p><p>“Director Yang must have had his reasons. Good ones, Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung didn’t seem convinced, however. In her mind, all she could think of that time was her impending doom, that she might not be commanding enough to get noticed by the TSPA representative. She’s oh-so convinced that she doesn’t have enough just yet.</p><p> </p><p>And Lisa, being her usual observant self, picks that up on Chaeyoung’s expressions alone. She hesitates at first, but she eventually gives in and reaches out her hand to place it on top of Chaeyoung’s.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I’m going to be there, too.”</p><p>“Oh, uh—”</p><p>“Don’t worry too much. I won’t leave you alone there.”</p><p> </p><p>It was reassuring, and it blanketed Chaeyoung with comfort she’s never known before.</p><p> </p><p>Lisa retreats her hand and Chaeyoung immediately misses the contact. If she were brave enough, she would’ve reached out herself and held the other woman’s hand without question.</p><p> </p><p>But she wasn’t there yet. And that’s okay. Both to her and Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>“If it helps, you can ask Seulgi and Jisoo to join you, too. Other international schools will be there. They might be interested. I’ll talk to Director Yang.”</p><p> </p><p>Fuck, was the blonde’s heart so full at that. It wasn’t too much to be honest if you try to look at it. But there was something in Lisa’s way of saying it, of reading the situation, that blew Chaeyoung away. How often does she encounter someone who knows how to calm the shit out of her? And for it to come from someone she looks up to, someone she hasn’t met for too long, was unusually beautiful.</p><p>The fact that Lisa knows the ways to put her at ease made her more <em>curious</em> than ever.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung settles with a smile, however. As that felt sufficient and not too head-on.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, seonsaengnim.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles back at first, only for it to break into a light chuckle as she shakes her head.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really a polite one, aren’t you?”</p><p>“It’s not a bad thing.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles at her again, five hundred times warmer this time.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“And I think Seulgi and Jisoo would be happy to join.”</p><p>“Sure, that’s no problem. Did Director Yang tell you of any specifics for your performance?”</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung sighs, the worry threatening to come back to her face, but it dissipates in no time when Lisa pours wine again into Chaeyoung’s already empty glass.</p><p> </p><p>The small things. it’s always the small things that she sees and responds to.</p><p> </p><p>And that made Chaeyoung’s heart somersault in silence.</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t. I’m just— I’m nervous. Of course, I’ve got to be.”</p><p>“Don’t go too ahead of your thoughts, Chaeyoung.”</p><p>“I should do something special to impress them, right? If big people would be there, I— I need to do— God, I don’t know what to—”</p><p>“Chaeyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>The nervousness crept it, but Lisa was quick to block it for her. Her eyes were so… passionate, and in Lisa’s mind, to be fair, there was nothing she wouldn’t do to guard the other girl from her haunting thoughts and the mounting pressure of the upcoming event. She knows what it feels like, to feel like you’re about to throw up out of anxiety, to feel like you’re never going to be good enough. But that’s how she hardened her persona through the years, by proving people wrong. And she wants Chaeyoung to be the same. And there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to help her get that.</p><p> </p><p>“Just— just be you, I suppose. Stay original, do what you think suits you best. First impressions matter, that’s true. But you don’t have to overdo it. You’re good, you have the talent already. They’ll see that either way.”</p><p> </p><p>Again, it wasn’t much, but it’s Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>And this side of Lisa, Chaeyoung noticed, always radiates with confidence and conviction.</p><p> </p><p>And she’s in too deep for it.</p><p> </p><p>“O—Okay. Sorry for rambling.”</p><p>“It’s normal.”</p><p> </p><p>If only Chaeyoung could box this version of Lisa in front of her, the version she’s unaware Lisa reserves for their lone moments together, she would. It wasn’t the reserved Lisa mentioned earlier, it was this Lisa who just cares and just knows what to say at the right <em>fucking</em> moment.</p><p> </p><p>And boy, was it a total turn-on for the blonde that she had to bite her lip to remind herself that it’s not the right time for anything just yet.</p><p> </p><p>Probably.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you again, Lisa. Really.”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa smiles, six hundred times warmer, a goddamn upgrade from the one she gave just minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Good.”</p><p> </p><p>They went on to finish their meal in silence, the only noise between them being the loud thumps in their chest, unaware that the shared feeling was perfectly in sync.</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Fast forward to two hours later, Chaeyoung and Lisa were at their respective places already. Lisa insisted to take her home earlier, as she felt uncomfortable to let the younger girl roam around the busking streets of Seoul after having a few glasses of wine. Chaeyoung didn’t say no, as she actually silently hoped for the offer to be up before they even left. The ride home mirrored the silence they shared during the rest of the dinner, and that was okay.</p><p> </p><p>Being just a few breaths away from one another was totally okay, no matter how deafening the silence was.</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung was already lying down on her bed, ready for a slightly early dozing off to dreamland when her phone beeped.</p><p> </p><p>It was Lisa, off to send some of the pictures she’s taken earlier.</p><p> </p><p>They were perfect. The slight hint of sunlight behind Chaeyoung, the swing at the park giving it a more natural feel. And Chaeyoung just looked so… happy, so <em>genuinely</em> happy in those pictures.</p><p> </p><p>Because she was.</p><p> </p><p>Quickly, she types a reply to Lisa.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: These are really good. Thank you, Lisa.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: No problem.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: Again, it was more about the subject.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung bites her lower lip, zipping the smile that was threatening to spill all over her face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: I beg to differ.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She shakes her head at her own reply, mimicking Lisa’s reply to her at the park earlier.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: is it okay with you if I post one? They’re too good to stay in my phone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: Sure.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: Thank you again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: You’re welcome. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>[lalalalisa_m]: Good night, Chaeyoung.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lisa was on her bed, unconsciously tapping her forefinger on top of her phone as she sent a short good night to the younger woman. It doesn’t take long for Chaeyoung to respond with her own.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[roses_are_rosie]: Good night, too, Lisa.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa just smiles at that, ready to doze off any minute. But she holds on to her remaining consciousness when she quickly sees the blonde’s post just a minute later.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Lisa swears she felt her chest swell at that.</p><p> </p><p>She puts her phone back to the bedside table and turns to face the glass windows. She breathes in slowly, appreciating the calmness set by the moonlight seeping in through the thin curtains.</p><p> </p><p>She thinks of the blonde’s smile, knowing the exhaustion of that day paid off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be continued…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>(P.S. again and again, watch out for the succeeding updates! until then!)</p>
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